Happy Birthday Babe..

I didn't write it by my own. I got it from somewhere else. But what she said exactly the same with what I wanted to tell you babe.. Deep inside I still wish you r here with me 2 celebrate ur birthday.. Happy 27th Birthday Babe..


27th April 2007, it's your 27th Birthday Babe.. be 27 @ 27. What a nice number isn't it? As both numbers are my fav ones. No 2 as I was born on the second month of the year. No 7 is always my fav n lucky number.. remember Table 7?? hehee.. I miss you babe..

Today is your birthday. I wish I could congratulate you face to face. We would’ve celebrated your special day together tonight. I’m sure if you were still around, we would have a nice dinner together, right now.. I wonder where we would celebrate it…

Today is your birthday. It’s been about 2 months since I haven’t heard your voice nor got your sms. And I miss you. So much.

Today is your birthday. But you’re not around. I can’t see your smile anymore. It hurts me, babe… My heart breaks into pieces. I wanted to ask “Why? Why aren’t you here?” But I guess I have to try to accept the reality and deal with it. I know you wouldn’t like it if I asked the same question again and again. I know that you don’t like seeing me sad… and mourning all the time… But it’s hard, babe. I’ve tried. It’s just so damn hard.
Oh why is it so sad? The feeling that I have now is even sadder than the feeling that I had when I broken-hearted. It doesn’t feel good at all, babe…

I really enjoyed the time with you, babe.. It was also nice only to spend the weekends watching dvds and chatting with you.... Then we're too exhausted (or lazy?) to go out yah... unlike the first couple of months, we always went out and had dinner at different fancy restaurants in town... I do not blame anyone for not spending more time with you babe.. I admit, I'm too busy with my own world in Kuantan.. But I regret that I didn't see you for the last time babe.. one last meeting that I failed to do.. U left me forever..

I really wish you were here… I really wish that I could see you tonight at your place and we go somewhere to celebrate your special day together. Ah well… I’m still learning to get used to live without your presence. Give me some time, will you? Am sure you understand.

Happy birthday, babe. I wonder what are you doing now?

I could only send my prayer as your birthday present...

xxx
Melia

What?

Part 1

What would you feel when suddenly u feel like some ppl wanted to know about ur life.. whats goin on with your life.. wutcha doin.. who's ur current partner.. it's fine if you're celebrities but as layman like me??

Im getting sick with all such questions guys.. especially question smells similar with these one..
"Who r u seeing currently?" or " Are u dating anyone?" or "Is it true u n him urmm.. u know.."

Hello.. wake up!! Its my life.. its my fuckin life so up to me what am I doing or what am I heading to..perghh ni betul2 liya..aka..liar ni.. :p

Part 2

N How would u feel when suddenly one certain sum1 know about u.. more than u know about urself.. ermm.. kinda pelik gak when this certain ppl bleh plak telling ppl about me which I've no idea mana dia dapat berita2 pelik tu..

Nah.. I just come back from visiting a fren.. then otw tu.. a fren of mine called n ktorg bergayut spjg2 jalan tu.. No.. its not about him.. its about what he told me.. Takpe.. later kita citer..

Part 3

Izzit fair to say I love you when u dun feel it at all?? Let say just to jaga hati or just wanna say it.
Heart is a complex organ.. yet its the most complicated one.. Till now, I still dun understand my heart..

Heart is not to be understood.. Only do what your heart tells you (Princess Diana)..

**************************************************

OK.. lets start one by one..
Tapi mata da ngantuk.. otak pun da penat..
tangan da malas..

OKla.. just secebis peringatan..bukan amaran.. not trying to be man coz I know I'm a gurl ehh silap I'm a cute gurl.. :p

Perlu ke aku nk buat annoucement about myself?? Mind your own business la k.

Sriyes tak sangka arr jadi sampai macam ni skali. Aku ingat tak kacau orang, takdela org nk kacau aku. Tapi lain plak jadinya.

Disclaimer:: Im still single and available k.. Kenyataan aku da bertunang or kawin or kejadah haram semua itu adalah fitnah semata2..

Pastu ngan sapa aku nk berkawan, bertunang atau kawin da ditetapkan kat luh mahfuz.. aku hanya akan menjalani je nanti.. so tunggu n lihat jerla.. bleh??

I know Im getting older.. in fact aku da suku abad da pun.. tapi jodoh pertemuan ajal maut semua tu ditangan Allah.. He knows best.. OK!!

Babe..

I can't sleep.
So I watched John Tucker Must Die.. still can't sleep.. continue watching A Walk to Remember..
Ended up.. crying missing my babe..

Have u ever feel empty tho u got lot of frens? I wonder why is dat I feel so fuckin empty while I'm having all the great frens around me.. I miss him.. Seriously miss him..

Babe.. I don't know it feel so sad.. but I really wish u r here.. I really wish I can talk to u rite now.. Remember when u r around, it doesnt matter what time I need u.. u always there for me.. where can I find such a great person like u??

Babe.. Your birthday is a day away.. wonder how am I goin to celebrate it alone.. U promise to celebrate it with me but u left me alone wondering this n that..

Owh babe.. I'm still learning to get used to live without ur presence n influence.. give me time babe.. Do u know, lata n pian are ignoring me?? They dun pick up my call or reply my sms. I heard they visited u back to S'pore. Y didn't they tell me? Im sorry I didn't join them.. I dun think I've the strength yet to see u. U know me rite.. God planned everything with his own reason.

Babe.. It's been few days I can't sleep.. maybe bcoz I've too much sleep lately.. or maybe bcoz of your birthday warmth that make me couldn't sleep.. it doesn't matter babe.. I always wish u all the best. Can't u see?? My life getting better tho there is a hole here n there but it's not a problem. Sure can overcome it..

I can only send my prayer as ur birthday gift babe.. you nvr remind me of anyone.. you remind me of yourself.. sorry I couldn't tell u this earlier.. Sorry I let u think u remind me of 'him', u far way better than 'him'. I heart you...

Take care babe..

#Thinking of sumthing this coming friday...

Penipuan yg terbongkar..

Ahaks.. entry ke 3 untuk hari ni..
Suka la.. aku nk tulis brapa byk entry pun.. da bosan tahap dewa ni..
Esok ada sesapa nk temankan aku tgk Jgn Pdg Belakang?? Sila sms saya secepat mungkin k!!
Ahakss...

Td blk dari umah aunty aku mama panggil ktorg adik beradik kat ruang tamu.. pastu cakap bisik2.
"Semalam tu papa bukan tak jd blk sebab flite delay tapi sebab kene tinggal flite."
Ahakss.. aku gelak je.. Mama sambung lg..
"Dah pesan byk kali, adik dia tu mmg sukala kalo dia stay lama.. bykla boleh minta. Geramnya ngan kita tak mau dia ngaku.. ngan orang lain dia cerita plak."
Aku gelak lagi.. ermm tau da perangai pakcik aku tu. maleh nak komen..

Ala.. leks arr ma, kalo bukan sebab papa tinggal flite mesti mama tak sempat g buat facial kan?? kan?? kan ma kan?? ahakss.. yo yo oo je mama g buat facial semalam, cuci mukala.. aper la.. konon suami blk mama dalam keadaan tercantikla kot.. ahakss.. Muka mama skrg ni much better than mine.. huhuu.. camni aku pun kene buat facial lak nampak gayanya.. tapi.. nak tunggu sapa blk umah?? hahahaaa...

# Asal kesengalan aku makin menjadi2 ni.. huhuuuu

Im feeling good..

Salam..

Yihaa.. tho not yet 100% but aku manage to change my template.. sorry la akak.. saya baca kat blog akak pasal tukar blog skin, buat saya rasa teruja nk tukar gak.. ihikss.. permisi..

Ni tak siap lagi ni.. need few minor editing tapi takper.. rasanya arini aku hbskan tuk edit blogskin ni je.. cute tak?? ehehee.. aku ubah skit2 je.. maklumla tak pandai sangat coding2 ni.. dapat ubah camni pun kira da cukup berbakatla tu.. ahakss..

Ok.. my condition getting better..especially bila ada table atas katil, which i can use my lpc on that table or having my breakfast or lunch or dinner on bed.. ahaaa.. anak manja papa mmg da terbukti kemanjaannyer.. dapat pulak ada bibik yg sekejap2 tanya aku nk makan aper.. nk minum ke tak.. makin besar la montot yg montoxx ni asik duduk je on bed.. ahakss takper.. its my time.. t da blk kontan tak dapat bermanja2 lg..

Papa dah sampai dis morning. Aku kuar td time sambut papa baru sampai, then nampak my bro minum nescafe ice tin yg kaler ceklat tu.. aku cam teringin tapi memandangkan perut tak brapa sihat lg so aku delay dulu niat nk minum air tuh.. Tapi... jeng..jeng.. petang ni aku bukak fridge nampak satu tin kat blkang cake lapis mama.. so aku amik gakla n minum.. nikmatnyer.. fuh..

As a result.. perut aku memulas2 skrg nih... (adakah salah satu alasan tuk jumpa dr sharil lg??) ahakss :p hopefully I'll b fine.. :D

Eg n BlackRose.. thanks arr aku malas nk reply kat comment.. aku bagi glamer nama korang kat entry aku..

From now on.. Im the princess of this blog.. yuhuu...

P/s: Harap maaf kesengalan semakin menjadi lepas sakit ni.. tersampuk kot.. huhuu

Rentetan 2...

Again..

Papa call suh g clinick again n ask for MC. La.. nak wat pe MC.. I'm not even working.. erkk.. kantoi.. but I did ask for MC. I got 4 days MC. Yihaaa... Kejadahnya aku MC pun walhal I dun even work... wakakaka.. wuteverla..

Nak dijadikan citer, 1st g clinik aritu Dr Sharil takde.. adik dia on duty Dr Sharizat.. so montotku yg montoxx ni da tercemar duli dek adik Dr Sharil tu la.. Lebam beb.. ermm kene injek bukan dia buat aper pun.. so kononnya bak kata Dr tu, 'in 2 hours time u'll be definitely fine'. Aku pun tak larat nk ber'argue' ngan dia sebab aku mmg da tak larat aritu. Kalo tak mesti aku tanya kalo tak sihat in 2 hours time pulang blk duit aku.. hehee..

Tapi memang tak lut ngan Dr Sharizat tu. Nak ulang blk jumpa Dr Sharil gak. Call clinic n ask siapa Dr in duty semalam. Nurse kata Dr James. Dr india tu.. dah tua. takmo la.. tanya bila shift Dr Sharil, dia kata kul 9. Ahaks.. cakap kat mama g kul 9. :D

G clinik, pehtu ngan tak ku sangka dia ingat kat aku lagi..ahakss.. pastu ngadu sakit ni sakit tu.. dia amik darah skit.. nk test darah.. erkk ingat ada denggi.. biar betikk.. pastu ermm again montot montoxx tercemar duli.. ahaks.. 2 kali lebam bah.. tak kisahla asalkan cepat sihat..

pagi ni da feel better but still pagi td ter du du sekali kat blk air.. pastu muntah takde dah.. Alhamdulillah.. Im getting better.. yuhuuu..


Thanks for doa2 korang... appreciate it..

rentetan...

Morning.

Bibik: Neng, mo makan apa ye?
Aku : Bik, buatkan bubur kosong. Lapar.
Bibik: Ya neng.

Aku sambung tdo blk sampai bibik kejutkan bangun tuk makan.
Makan 2-3 suap.. pastu muntah kat lantai blk tdo tu.. bau muntah buat aku nk muntah lg n lg..

"Bik!.. Bik!.. Bibik!!!"
"Ya neng. Aduh neng udah muntah lg ni neng. Bentar bibik bersihin."

Bibik da bersihkan blk aku, sembur air freshener. Aku makin loya.. Bila nk sihat ni.. huhuu..

Tak lama lepas tu, mama blk.
"Ci dah makan?" Aku angguk.
"Ubat dah makan?" angguk lagi.
"Ada muntah? Ada ciritbirit lg?" angguk gak.. Ma, sakit perut.. pening kepala.. huhuuu..

Tgh hari, bibik hantar nasi bubur lg. Kali ni ada sayur ada ayam. Blom makan da rasa nk muntah. Takmo bik.. thanks.. Petang skit, rasa cam da ada tenaga. bangun tdo..cuci muka then tersadai tak toilet.. habis tenaga tu blk.. uwaaa..

Kul 5.30pm, bibik gerak tanya if aku bleh amik jamil kat skul. Tgk luar hari hujan. Takde sapa kat umah.. aku pun kata ok kot.. terus amik kunci kete n terus g skul jamil. Jamil nek kete dia tegur "Akak tak pakai tudung?" aku pun cam ha?? mamai sungguh.. singgah kedai beli lg 2 botol 100+, then beli asam utk hlgkan loya (bijak tak?? ahahaa) then blk..

Sampai rumah, bibik tanya lg nk makan ape.. aku ckp teringin nk makan laksa.. haih ntah apa saja yg aku teringin nk makan ni.. mlm aku try gak telan nasi n ayam BERSAMBAL (yummy). As the result, aku almost tertdo kat dalam toilet. huhuuu.. degil sangat!!

Pagi2 mama kejut tanya nk makan apa bekfes.. aku ckp tak nk makan.. nanti muntah blk. Mama call papa. Cakap ngan papa..
"Makan apa ni sampai teruk camni? Dah brapa hari ni?"
"Tatau makan aper.. ish ish ish.." last2 aku tak bercakap.. sibuk nangis.. pastu for the past 10minutes, cuma dgr papa pujuk anak yayang dia ni berenti nangis.. ngeh ngeh ngeh.. nk wat camne??
Flite papa delay esok. So hari ni papa takde kat sinila. Esok prob baru papa sampai.

Pagi ni mama masakkan bubur nasi n sup tulang. Makan byk gakla.. pastu masuk blk aku rasa loya2 cam nk muntah blk. last2 aku makan asam boi.. ehehe.. bijak2...

Sekarang aku nk tdo.. baru lepas makan ubat mata pun rasa cam takmo terbukak je.. so izinkan beta beradu barang seketika..

OPTIMIS-AB THREE

Tak Perlu malu dan kecil hati apalagi frustasi
Terlampau keji, bila terlintas hendak membunuh diri

Kegagalan itu hal biasa dalam hidup ini
Setiap orang pasti punya satu masalah dan masa lalu---> setujuuuuh dan setubuuh banget daaah :p

Anggap derita sbagai cobaan dan satu pengalaman
Yang mesti dapat kita hadapi dengan hati yang lapang

Kegagalan itu hal biasa dalam hidup ini
Setiap orang pasti punya satu masalah dan masa lalu

Temaaan, hidup ini hanya satu kali (bersyukurlah temaaaaan)
Temaaan, untuk apa kita menyiksa diri
Hadapilah semua kenyataan yang ada
Serta raihlah cita2 hidup bahagiaaaa :)

Hadapi Saja...

Relakan yang terjadi takkan kembali
Ia sudah milikNya bukan milik kita lagi
Tak perlu menangis tak perlu bersedih
Tak perlu tak perlu sedu sedan itu
Hadapi saja
Pasrah pada Illahi hanya itu yang kita bisa
Ambil hikmahnya ambil indahnya
Cobalah menari cobalah bernyanyi
Cobalah cobalah mulai detik ini
Hadapi saja
Hilang memang hilang wajahnya terus terbayang
Berjumpa di mimpi
Kau ajak aku 'tuk menari, bernyanyi
Bersama bidadari malaikat dan penghuni surga

#This song really gv me strength to live on.. Dude.. miss u..

***********************************************************

Duno wuts wrong wif my body. I kinda lost my energy 4 d whole wiken. Habis kuar sumer body fluid thru either wek wek..or du du. Within 3 days lost almost 4kgs hilng which aku rasa hlg thru body fluid.. wah.. takmo nk citer pjg2 coz aku pun tak brapa ok lagi pala otak ni.. maybe sebab terlalu byk tdo so pala pun pening.. even skrg ni pun pening lg..

Sorry for those yg aku susahkan time2 kesakitan neh.. Thanks for those yg help me out.. Sorry again yg mana aku tak dapat nk entertain.. gile tak larat...

Astrology

Miss him.. tetibe jek.. Demm.. (Apa kabarmu disana??)

Waktu2 camni macam best je layan.. EG!!! Tulunkkkkkk...!!!!!!!!

Jom wayang.. Cineleisure ke cineplex yg kat sblh The Curve tu?? (Haih!!)

This morning kinda mencabar kesabaran aku.. huhu..
I couldn't send papa to LCCT due to mengantuk n penat tak hingat dunia.. wut the heck I did yesterday?? So Mama n my bro sent him this morning. Aku sambung tdo blk, then bibik kejut ckp Jamil dun wanna go to school, so I was like hanginla.. dala tdo kene kacau.. pujuk punya pujuk.. last2 menangis2 tu gak aku heret g skul. Bg duit blanja 5 hinggit arini. (Giler punyer pujuk ehh :p )

Then, as usual.. b4 gosok gigi n cuci muka.. hehee.. aku check email dulu pepagi.. mana tau ada yg ptg2.. ahakss :D

Percaya tak if I say aku subscribe daily Romantic Horoscope?? Hehee.. giler desperate ehh?? No la.. cuma kekadang aku cuma nk tau betul ke ape yg derang ckp tu.. but to be honest with you guys.. most of the time dia cam betul.. Tapi arini cam menarik skit.. heheheee tu yg nk buat aku bercerita kat blog.. hahahaa..

Read this:

Dear Melia,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Friday, April 20:

Buh-bye, caution -- have fun on the wind. You're in a mood to do what you want, say what you mean, be who you are -- possibly in outrageous ways. Bonus: You're hot as heck while you're at it.

*******************************************

Well, to start with.. thats wut I've in mind rite now.. hahaha...
Havin a good day wif an ol fren.. tot he lost his mind already.. rupa2nya tak.. :p
Then hv a minor fight wif another ol fren.. Im d one who losing my mind.. demm!! (do what you want, say wut u mean n be who u r..)


# Bukan tak memberi peluang.. cuma waktu belum tiba..

Sleepy mode..

Pernah drive dlm keadaan mengantuk giler??

Demm suxx.. aku tak suka driving malam coz I'm having sight problem.. silau.. td aku drive dlm keadaan giler mengantuk.. maybe sebab kekenyangan so mengantuk tu bertambah la peratusnya.. Siap tertdo time lampu merah lg. Sesuatu yg aku tak pernah buat.. maknanya aku mmg mengantuk sangat. N nk dijadikan citer.. lepas kene honk, aku cam ter'segar' blk.. tapi kejap je.. pastu mata kuyu blk. Sibbaik ada yg tepon time driving tu.. kira cam kurang skit rs mengantuk tu..

Sebab aku mengantuk, so aku elakkan lalu paya jaras. Lalu ikut ermm Subang kot.. ermm masuk kat spg 3 depan komuter sg buluh tu.. aku pun tatau nama tpt tu.. aper2la kan.. jalan kat situ.. mata makin kuyu.. aku mainten je bawa 80. Sampai lak kat area jalan baru tempat altantuya kene bunuh tu da kul 10.15pm. Seriau gak aku.. takut nk pdg belakang.. pastu aku pun pusing cermin pdg blkg tu.. setkan side mirror.. pastu aku drive cam org giler.. dahla takde kete lain kat sana.. giler..

Sampai kat satu jalan tu.. sebab aku penakut kot aku cam nampak sumthing kat tgh jalan.. aku da tekan brek emergency.. dahla ngantuk.. pastu bleh plak aku nampak bnda ntah aper2 ntah.. sekalinya cube teke mende apa tu? it was like byg2 or reflection drpd lampu jalan.. wahh aku da ngucap panjang.. demm!!

****************************************************************

I was asked to read sum1 blog just now.. nothing much but then check d comments.. walah weii.. rasa cam dulu2 blk ehh.. it just dat aku da lama tak juin such thing.. kinda rsa pelik lak skrg.. rasa a bit sensitif pun ada.. huhuu.. mind me frens.. I do bcome so fuckin sensitive.. so plzz n plzz bare with me!

# Im not sure myself...

Bandung recap...

Baru sampai kat Bdg airport

Eskrim duren.. nampak tak durian kat blakang tu.. superb.. fuhh..

Cici yg gemuk..

@Tengkuban Perahu.. hujan bah..

With kawan2 cozin aku.. (kazen aku yg pki suar pendek tu..)

Nasi timbel... fav food aku.. haha

Anak kazen aku yg baru 5 bulan.. 9 kg tu berat dia..huhu

Ni Utal kazen aku yg study kat ITB

Nice kan??

Aloha... Salam...

Just got back from Bandung..(but sorry guys, dun expect anything from me..uhuhuu). Aku tak beli paper pun.. In fact, aku cuma bli baju 2-3 helai tuk diri sendri sebab aku tak bawa baju pe g bandung tu..

Well, it was a pleasent trip. Rasa nk pergi lagi. Well, the shoppin place was amazing but not as what I expected. Couldn't find the branded stuffs like what ppl said. As oni said, it was back then.. rite now.. what u can find just the local stuffs.. giler tak best.. so aku tak beli paper sangat..

Then wut the hell aku kata duit aku habis kan?? Ermm.. living cost kat sana so fuckin expensive.. ermm should i say cam tuk makan je.. aku hbs agak byk gakla.. n duit aku rasanya hbs for accomodation, makan, jalan2, jalan2, jalan2 lagi.. n lagi.. n lagi..

Bandung is a great place.. especially when it comes to tempat2 peranginan dia.. Next time aku g lagi.. just nk bercuti bukan go hopin from one FO to another.. Damn suxx.. tak de pe sangat pun FO dia..

Ermm as for shoppin.. sebab aku da biasa ngan barang2 kat pasar baru tu.. so aku cam tak xcited sangat nk beli brg cam telekong, tudung, etc2 tu.. kat kg aku pun berlambak.. cam rege dia lebih kurang je.. as far as i concern brg2 camtu.. better beli kat Jkt. Since aku pun mmg nk g jkt bulan 7 nanti.. so tgk brg2 kat jkt jela..

So far tu jela pun aku nk citer.. tapi one thing.. aku rasa sangat bersyukur dpt jumpa cozin aku yg da 19 tahun aku tak jumpa.. luckily instinct sedara kot.. aku cam tau2 je tu dia.. padahal tak pernah tgk muka lg.. haha.. miss u dude..

Akhirnya tau macam mana rasa apa yg aku rasa?? Tu baru main2.. da pedih kan?? Kalo betul2?? Agaknya rasa cam mana ye?? Hati aku luka n berdarah lg..

* Babe, I da belikan kain u tu.. Dah sedekahkan kat Masjid.. Moga digunapakai tuk ibadah.. Al-Fatihah...

Off for a while...

I'm off to bandung 2morrow morning..
Up to this moment still no place to stay.. wakakkaaa.. giler gamble.. oni da tensen giler da tu.. :p
Sibbaik utal nk amik kat airport esok.. kalo tak masak gakla nk cari hotel satu2.. damn!!!
Kalo aku tak blikan korang paper nanti.. ketahuilah bahawa.. duit aku tak cukup untuk itu.. hehehe... :D

Tiring..

Went to Kuantan yesterday. To settle things down. How I appreciate Dr Kamaruzaman to hv so much trust on me though he dun even know much about me... Thanks sir.. really appreciate it. Its kinda a relief to hv such words from you.. So guys, I've made my mind. Anyway with all the helps n guide.. n the isthikharah.. yet I know where I should heading to..

Driving all the way KL-Kuantan, again Kuantan-KL. Its hell tiring. Luckily I drove auto, otherwise I mite not be able to walk to day.. hhahahaa.. gigill... :p

Reached home safely @11pm. Which made mom n dad worried so much. Me?? I was frightened to death to drive @such hour.. Especially when passthru certain area.. meremang bulu tengkok mak nyahh...

Ermm.. so far nothing to tell.. it just that Im off this friday..

Ohya.. sum1 said I look like 18 years old gurl.. wakakakakakaa.. tetiba terasa muda kejap.. haha

Aku cuma ada 4jut je nk g Bandung ni.. ckp tuk shoppin aku sorang jela ni.. huhuu..

Happy Birthday Eika...

Here special 4 u my lovely sista...

Sucks.. My day was kinda ermm should I say not very the good one la. I forgot my own sista b'day. I did mistakes again.. over n over like I've no idea y i bcome so kinda 'jahat' sangat sekarang. Hmm.. sorry again 2 those yg terkene kejahatan i tu.. :D

Mini thesis ada lg separuh tuk ditanda.. n luckily aku cuma ada 2day to finish marking all of it coz esok kene turun kontan suda.. hantar those 2 masters student tu.. plus aku da rindu with my tilam.. hahaa.. no..no.. I'm not goin to stay overnite coz I gotta catch my flight on friday morning n aku tak prepare paper lg 4 d trip.. (hmm do i need to prepare anything?? Naa..)

Aku tak paham asal such simple matter mesti nk jdkan complicated.. come on la.. aku letihla.. kalo macam ni.. I'll see this organization collapse in few years time.. sucks like hell!!.. Ingat travelling from kontan to KL is like from Gombak to Meru kah?? Lainla aku pun blh gunakan LA to be my driver.. ptuihh.. sakit tekak!!

Anyway.. wut bos say is always rite.. (demm hell yea rite).. aper2 la.. gotta go.. nk blk umah sudah.. esok nk jalan jauh.. huhuu.. fenat beb!!

Happy Birthday Black Rose!!

Ni aku buat spesel tu Rose..

Ni aku beli.. hahaa..


HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST ROSLAILY SAAD!!
MAY YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE..

Anak bongsu yg manja...

My little bro.. the bongsu Jamil..

The 3 siblings..

Pagi ni sangat susah aku nk kejut anak bongsu aka jamil tuh. Siap menangis2 lagi bila aku kejut suh mandi nk g skul. Dia kata, last nite dia takleh tdo so dia ngantuk sangat n taknak g skul pagi ni. Kalo ikut aku.. ok je.. pastu papa plak da 5 kali call dari td.. suh gak anak bongsu tu g skul. Kesian gak tgk dia nangis2 takmo g skul.

Alahai.. manjanya.. maklumla anak bongsu.. mmgla boleh manja2.. mmgla boleh mengada2... :p

Well, aku takde masalah ngan anak bongsu k. Tho aku anak sulung.. im cool.. :p

Kesian gak kat jamil to hv kakak yg tak reti pujuk.. last2 aku dukung mamat yg da besar panjang tu.. berat woo.. bawa g blk air...menangis2 la time mandi tu.. dah lepas mandi da segar bugar ok je.. huhuu..

Sebagai upah g skul.. arini duit blanja aku tambah lg singgit.. so 2 hinggit.. meleret panjang je senyum all the way g skul. Haihh.. budak2.. hehee

Hopefully, my loving bro ni tak jd spoiled brat la bila besar nanti.. Wish him all the best..

Congrats..

Ermm.. I dun hv idea..
But,

CONGRATULATION TO IIUM CAMPUS KUANTAN TEAM FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF SENIOR FOOTBALL IIUM STAFF GAMES 2007.

Tak sia2 aku nyer suara serak.. hehee.. next time jgn ajak aku tgk bola lg.. Biasala pompuan.. emotional.. hehee..

A moment to remember..

I've watched this movie. I missed when it was aired on TV but a fren of mine has the movie so finally i manage to watch it. Try to dl but always failed..huhhuu..

Nice sad movie. A friend said, 'A walk to remember' much better. A bit sad, but 'A moment to remember' it's unexplainable why some gurls cry watching this movie..huhuuu

We watched the movie together which end up, my fren fall into deep sleep while I was watching the movie sobbing all the way. Sampai bengkak2 mata..huhuu.. It's not that the movie is so sad.. it just hmm.. how should i put it.. senang citer camni la.. do u think pure love is still exist in this world?? of course ada gak kot.. but less than a little.. :p

I cried bcoz of the husband's love, its so pure, eternal. Doesn't matter if the wife dun remember him.. he loves n cares about her..

Ladies, get this straight: guys like Choi Chol-Soo (the husband) DO NOT exist in real life. You'd have a better chance of finding Bigfoot than a sensitive, loving, and yet utterly righteous dude like Choi Chol-Soo. Hmm.. guess I'll never come across any.. But I've met my dear just to know he left me forever.. :D

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Another 20 days.. counting days to celebrate his supposed to be 27th Birthday.. I'm still counting babe.. I'll get u the 'kain batik' u asked me for from Bandung.. We r supposed to celebrate ur b'day babe.. Damn!!!! I miss you so much.. Oh ya, ur mom called me to tell that they r moving this morning.. I wish I can see her but u know I'm not that strong. I'll see Lata b4 fly off to Bandung.. All of us miss you babe.. Wish we can hang out like we used to. Lata always hide her tears when talk about u babe.. I know how close u guys..

My life getting complicated babe.. I dunno what to do.. I need you by my side to help me out. But though u r no longer around, at the presence of pian n haikal n lata.. I feel ur presence.. Stucked btw dreams n hopes..

It doesn't matter babe.. Oh why is it so sad? The feeling that I have now is even sadder than the feeling that I had when I broken-hearted. It doesn’t feel good at all, babe…

Wish you ok over there babe.. I'm always sent you my prayers.. U take care babe.. Dun worry about me..I'm ok n I feel better.. I got my old fren back.. I'm happy 4 it. Don't u happy 4 me 2? Smile for me, will ya?

Miss you so much babe..

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Nak jumpa muzamm.. lama tak jumpa dia.. rindu la.. hahaa... esok kene amik sakit baki mini thesis tu... adehh..

I feel better..

The second entry for d day..
I'm happy..
I'm so happy..
Y?
Coz I got my old fren back..
How I wish u were like this back then..
Perhaps it wont end up that way..
But things happened anyway..
Im so happy that I hv u as my fren again..
I dun want u to be the person I ran to each time im having problem..
I just want u to be sumbody who always b by myside in happy n hard time.. share happiness n sadness..
I just want to hv u as my best buddy ever..

It's hurt me when u ignore me..
It's hurt me when u try to hate me..
It's hurt me to know that I hurt u even worst..

Friendship is the most beautiful relationship..
Lets the love heals the wound..
I love you, my friend..
Let bygone be bygone

Let us not dwell in past.
Past is past.
If we think of past,
we stand to lose much;
of course,
past has its own value in terms of experience, knowledge etc.
But this does not mean, keep remembering past, criticising others for past problems & mistakes,
We all make mistakes.
But we learn from them also.
Out present or future should not be solely based on past.

#I remember the red roses, I remember the strawberries.. But I dun remember you.. :)
If I ever lost my memory.. will u take care of me?? - A moment to remember..

Do hv some respect!!

DISCLAIMER:: Entry ni tuk satu org yg poyo. Yg len takyah baca. takde kene mengena ngan sesapa pun kecuali mamat poyo tu. Kalo nk baca gak.. go ahead.. tapi bare with my language..

Bila da rasa diri tu besar sangat..
Mulala besar kepala..
Orang yg da macam mak sendiri pun blh nampak cam semut..
Kalau takat nk berlagak muda2 da berjaya.. da nk kawin.. da ada duit.. da keje.. tak payahla..
Dunia ni ibarat roda.. skrg kau kat atas.. sat2 lagi sapa tau ko kat mana..
Kalo hidup keje mengampu orang.. dok kipas bontot orang.. dok cuci taik orang.. gi mam arr weii..
Harap jer keje kat institution yg terkenal ngan nama yg bagus..
Aku ni jahat gak.. tapi reti je nk hormat org tua..
Bila org yg aku da anggap cam mak aku complaint pasal ko sms dia camtu..
Aku rasa benda pertama yg aku teringin nak buat bila jumpa ko.. mmg aku nk sepak muka ko yg perasan bagus tu..
Ingat bagus sangat ke?? aku hangin pagi ni.. macam2 hal.. rasa cam nk nangis pun ada.. sibbaik ada kawan yg memahami.. biarla aku nk nangis pun.. suka ati aku la.. sibukk je..

Lagi satu tuk ko yg sibuk membanggakan ko anak tuan haji.. ko bakal jd menantu org yg terhormat.. wehh ingat org heran ke?? Kalo aku la.. mmg aku tak tgk ko sebelah mata pun.. tak kira betapa berjaya pun ko.. takde maknanya.. kalo hidup mmg bertulangkan bangkai macam tu.. takat nk berlagak pakai kete besar.. p mam arrr.. sengall..

~~Aii Ci, jeles ke??
Kejadahnye aku nk jeles ngan dia.. tau da dia camne.. g mam arr sumer2 tu.. Eii naik geli taik tinga aku dgr manja2 ngan bini dia.. fcuk..
Aku tak heran kalo dia nk kuang aja ngan aku.. aku ni sapa.. aku ni bukan sesapa. hukhukhuk..
tapi bila org yg da cam mak aku call aku pg td bitau apa si jantan sial tu sms dia n da way dia sms tu mmg cam sial (cam dia gak) aku pun hanginss semacam.. dahla aku mmg ada masalah negara ngan dia.. bukan masalah aper.. cuma aku takleh nk jumpa ngan dia ftf.. rasa cam nk amik buluh nk tusuk je dada dia.. biar kurang skit org cm dia. Arap je blaja tinggi2 tp perangai cam kimx.

# Aku tgh marah.. mind with my words..

Biggest decision in life...

....::::: STILL IN THE CONFUSION STATE:::::....

Masters or working??
Still unsure myself.. To be honest with I'm stucked btw both. Stucked btw dreams, goals n life pressure. Few frens gv their opinion, of course from different view n angle. Appreciate that n thanks very much. I'm giving up.. im really am.. I tot I can hv a thought after come back from Bandung. After the holiday but still up till this moment I still can't make up mind. Demm!!

Bro Rizal,
Ermm.. I dunno.. know its hard for you to help me out.. but its harder for me to decide.
I really out of my mind rite now.. What should I do??

I'm doing ELISA n again RNA works over here in Engineering lab. Ohya n tissue culture of course. Seeing all the masters students getting tired with their job, wanted to stop their research n all the problems they r facing.. it frightened me to death on how am i going to survive in this so called research life.. especially in newly established department. Im so farkin scared at the moment.. MoM...how m i goin to tell ya??

As for the working life.. yea.. if we look at certain perspectve.. this job will expose me to the real life.. to the real working environment.. to the real pressure.. but I don't know where the road will lead me.. I know nothing about this new thing.. What my future will be? Sure, my life is all about job n getting pay everymonth n thats it.. Well, the good thing is I'm gonna hv lotz of new fren out there.. gotta be more socialize..hehee.. wuteverla..

So wut do u say guys?? I've wasted my precious time... should I waste even more? After masters what?? Lecturer?? Farkin neraka.. That would be in d dream.. especially when I've to work under lessbrainedm0reheartdperson. Evrything gotta be in d sense of emotional.. like a child.. my situation??nobody understand..well its not for your understanding pun.. those who knows will understand.. :(

********************************************

Whatever decision I'm goin to make.. will affect my future.. So??

Fark'ap

We were in d middle of conversation about the gurls he 'went thru' (mind wif my farkin words!!), when I was saying like..

Me: I think she's beautiful than the previous one..
Him: She's d one la.. The previous one is *iya.
Me: Wait Im confuse..
Him: The previous one is *iya, this one is *iya. (Damn!! the spelling is almost the same.. :p )
Me: Ooo..
Him: And this one.. (while pointing his finger to me..) {read btw lips.. there's no sound but I can read his lips saying.. } SIALL..

N I was :-O. What the fark'ap he's thinkin he's saying. Damn!!

Hello..
Did I miss sumthing here?? I miss the whole thing ok. I dun know bout ur farkin damn gurls.. I wasnt intentionally askin u.. How on earth would u put me that way?? Well yea.. I can see.. Im not as good as those gurl but at least tell me who the farkin hell are u to call me in such manner. May my name not reflects my personality.. who farkin care?? It's not yet a week!!

Askin me not to write it in blog.. my blog so its up to me what to write!! Dun like.. get the hell out of here.. Oh ya.. lemme give u sumthing.. ermm see my middle finger up. u Sucks!!

****************************************

Went to ofis quite early just to face heavy traffic. I was about to drive WNK, but thinkin bout the cost of driving WNK comparing with BGX, I would prefer BGX tho its manual but its cost effective.. Hopefully I wont spent the remaining 300 bucks within this 2 weeks.. huhu.. Need to be wise spender.. hahaa.. (that would b impossible). Can't wait for my 'duit terpijak'.. should be around 2.5k.. hahaaa.. makcik kayo!!

Ermm my mood wasn't ok this evening, so decide not to drop kt Damansara. Sorry guys, Im not in da mood. In fact, I didn't take the usual route. I went thru Sg Buluh. When on earth arrr the road will be completely open to public?? Heavy jammed gak kat sana. Tensen.. If only I can put water on my head, It should be completely boiled by the time I reached home. It saved me RM4.20 for the toll. Well, I've overspent during lunch so I should cover the other part.. hahaa..


# I'm ok now.. As the denda.. Ermm.. candat sotong!! heheheee...

Routine...

This morning woke up around 5.30am, chatting+downloading stuffs+surfing+reading blog.. then tdo blk. Woke up again around 10am. Dem!! I was supposed to prepare Jamil for school, send him and gv him pocket money. Thats what mama said, I should do evry morning b4 work. Bangun2 lari g Masterbedrum, tgk kosong n da kemas da. Urghh forgot , papa cuti arini.. fuhhh... kalo tak mao jamil ponteng school sebab aku tak bangun...

Bangun da kul 10am, maknanya keje baru nk start @10.. giler lambat. Aku kemas rumah sume, cuci kain n jemur.. siap sumer da kul 12.. huhuuu.. dari pagi td internet cam kimax.. tensen aku.. patut ada lunch date arini tapi terpaksala dicancelkan.. sorry yer.. next time k.. :D

Kul 1, aku bleh lupa lak aku ada tanggungjawab nk jemput hantar si anak bongsu tu. Da satu lebih baru papa tepon suh amik jamil. Ermm not get use wif new responsiblity ni lg la.. haiyyoo... Jemput jamil yg mana dah takde org sangat da depan skul tu.. sian lak dia tunggu lama.. aku tanya dia marah ke akak amik lmbt dia geleng pala je.. marahla tu.. Jamil ni nk pujuk senang je.. bagi singgit suh banje. Meleret ka senyum dia tu..

Balik umah, mama suapkan dia makan.. pehtu aku siapkan baju skul dia.. gosok paper yg patut.. air bekal dia, bukula, pensil la. aper la.. Pehtu mandikan dia, pakaikan baju n anto g skul agama plak..

Pehtu aku da bley berileks2 sakan.. huhuhuuu..
Ingat nk sambung tdo blk.. nk pam badan ni skit.. biar gebu.. hahhaahaa.. kan oni kan?? :p

Esok routine life da lain skit.. esok mmg kene bgn awal pagi.. kul 5.30 ok kot.. nak kemas rumah b4 keje, nk siapkan jamil g skul, nk prepare bekfes dia, nk hantar g skul.. pastu baru bleh g keje.. huk olloh. gilak arhh bley jd surirumah tangga da ni.. Erm cam kalo dapat anak instant pun takde masalahla.. hahaa.. Ermm tarik blk ehh last stetment tu... huhuu..

****************************************

Walaupun skrg ni ramai yg minat ngan jande or dude tapi minta2 dijauhkan la ehh.. Klo da jodoh nk wat camne kan.. tapi na'uzubillahiminzalik...

Last nite, time chatting ngan Lata.. she told me bout you PIAN!!! Ko mmg cam shiall.. aritu time aku tanya sapa minah yg aku nampak ngan ko kat DH tu, ko kata adik sedarala.. sepupu la.. sepapatla.. haram jadahla.. siott je.. Aku da tau da sapa tu :p aku korek sampai ke akar umbi (erkk, kalo ngan Lata, takyah korek pun.. dia akan bitau sumer.. hahaha). KO pun ikut jejak langkah syaril gakla ni.. ni Gen 1 ke Gen 2? (hehee sudah gaharu cendana pula ehh :D ). Takper arr pian.. dapat anak express ko.. senang dapat anak da besar.. so bila majlisnya ni?? Sampai hati, ngan dak2 korang pun aku ketinggalan gak.. asal sumer part aku selalu ketinggalan ehh.. ngan dak2 mel pun aku slalu tinggal..tatau perkembangan semasa.. hehe..

Nway, best lepak ngan korang smlm.. walaupun kejap je.. tapi okla..dah lama tak jumpa kan.. :D Sebenarnya aku nk jumpa ngan haikal, bukan korang.. hahaa.. pe citer abang 'jambu' tu?? still menten jambu kah?? Aku nk tanya semalam cam segan plak sebab ada nonet tu.. kang dia ingat aku nk ngorat haikal plak.. hahaaa... susah btul "berstatus single yg suka mingle" ni.. :P

#Malam td aku tdo lambat lyn ermm.. erkk.. aper2la... buhsan siott..

DEMMMM!!!

INTERNET ARINI CAM KIMAKKK!!!
BUDUSHHH!!!!
YM ASIK DC JE...
BENGONG!!!!!!
TENSEN TAHAP DEWA DAH NI!!!!!!

Confusionsss..

Baru sehari kat rumah.. dah start rasa cam mama getting over concern pasal sesuatu.. Aku jemur kain pun salah, cara sapu rumah pun salah, senduk nasi pun slah.. Aihh.. sabar jela. tu blom bab2 lain2 lagi tu.. But she's my mom.. Love her with all my heart.. Apa2 la ma...

She was nagging about men's ego. Obviously la complaining about my dad yg tercinta.. Haihh macam2 citer org dah kawen ni.. Aku layankan je.. dengarkan je.. hehee...

****************************************

G KLCC td, ditemani DJC'rian. Ermm actually aku nk jumpa Bro Rizal, nk discuss pasal d job he's talkin about tu.. since aku ni kan tak pernah g memana sensorang.. :p, so aku ajak la bebudak tu temankan.. hehee.. sibbaik derang nak.. kalo tak aku sekeh pala sorang2... hahaa.. takdela gurau je ehh.. :p

Jumpa n bincang, which I see another world outside the box.. hahaa.. all this while aku cam live in the box so future yg aku nmpk tu pun is yg ada dlm box tu jela.. which is ermm ntahla..

Ermm, job prospec. kinda interesting.. Pay pun not bad.. working environment nice.. so wat am i waiting for? Guys, kalo aku keje kat company ni.. tpt keje aku dekat ngan KLCC :D maknanya VINCCI will be harian nyer kedai yg dikunjungi.. ahakss.. ermm aku kene betul2 kayala maknanya ehh.. Ermm.. Eg, t ko takde da rumate yg best cam aku ni.. hehee.. perhaps ko kene cari rumate baru.. :D Gonna miss ya...

Yo yo ooo je aku ni kan.. ntahla.. aku still in d confusion state..

Ros, aku dah start blk perangai buruk tu.. lepas makan muntah.. lepas makan muntah.. huhu.. camne ni?? Kalo camnila gaya mau aku kurus dulu dari hang.. td g *BURGER KING (baca yer BURGER KING), aku mkn fries n tomato WHOPPER BLACKPAPER.. then rasa cam nk muntah.. huhuu.. pastu ada plak pengganti EG yg dok ajuk2 aku muntah n muka ijo.. lg la loya semacam tekak.. On d way nk g car park, aku buang dulu apa2 yg rasa nk terkuar kat anak tekak tu.. demm perit..

Orang ingat seronok kot muntah tu.. ingat kita suka2 je nk muntah.. tau tak sakit tekak pastu pala pun pening.. blom bau lagi.. behtu lepas ni.. nk di ingatkan jgnla buat muka or sound cam nk muntah tu lg ehh.. cam hampehss tau tak..

Tetiba rindu layan jijoi nyanyi kat karaoke jamban.. hehee.. Jom karaoke!!

***********************************************

Sepanjang jalan otw blk rumah td, tepon tak berenti berbunyi.. smsla.. call la.. Dahla aku takde handsfree set.. dahla tepon tu mengong.. takleh nak tekan keypad dia.. sudahnya aku buat bodo je sms2 tu sumer.. mana2 call aku layan.. Layan tak layan sangatla.. gitu2 ajerla.. Hangin la ni.. mau tak hangin, esok due date tuk mini thesis tu.. arini la nk tepon.. arini la nk discuss pasal result.. aritu time aku bising2 explain.. takmo tanya..

Bebudak AMG ni satu.. aritu aku dah suh amik result takmo g amik.. bila aku da blk KL baru sibuk nk jumpa.. Kim salam jerla yer.. jumpala ngan machine Alpha Imager tu.. Cuber rasa camne kalo tibe2 cikgu hilang..

P/s: EG, kalo student cari aku.. ckp aku no longer keje kat uia k. Sampai kul 12 pun kene layan call lg.. Pastu, sesapa yg blk KL minggu ni suh tlg bawakan minithesis student2 aku tu. Make sure ada 64 copy semuanya k.. thanks..

Lepas ni bz tanda mini thesis la plak jawabnya.. huhuuuu

# Minggu ni kene tgk wayang.. let see movie apa yg bertuah untuk aku tontoni...
* Aku buat tanda sebab kat Kontan takde BURGER KING.. hahaaa.. :p (saja ja nk bg hangpa jeles.. :D)

D Wedding...

Again, I wanna wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY to IZYAN aka EG comeyyy..

Td wedding yo n odah. Aku janji ngan shikin n shitam n naja nk g sesama.. so jumpa kat masjid. G rumah odah sesama.. As usual, jumpa kawan2 yg da lama tak jumpa.. ramai yg da kawin. ramai yg da ada anak.. ramai gak yg solo lg.. ahakss..

Not much yg blh diceritakan pun coz citer antara org2 pompuan besala kan.. :p

Td ada snap pic ngan Mr Mika.. cameraman dia bagusla.. hahaa.. gambar tu cam ada turutan.. Nak share gak kat sini.. takper kan Mr Mika kan?? My blog ni invi.. takde sapa yg tau.. so takyah takutla ur MP n FS nyer gf find out.. :p

"Camne nk amik gambar mesra?" N I burst into laugh.. hahaa

"Nak buat mesra macam mana ni?" Hahaa.. Mike jd pemalu.. again can't stop myself from laughing like 'neraka'.

This is the best 'mesra' from Mike.. wakakaa... :p

Newly wed couple with guy frens.. exclude the 2 gurls k

Newly wed couple with the gurls n erkk.. gurl 2b.. ahahaa

A snap with pengapit pengantin.. :D

AGAIN - CONGRATULATION TO THE NEWLY WED COUPLE!!

40 days

Hari ni dah 40 days Iwan tinggalkan aku buat selama2nya. Aku rasa dia pun gembira tgk aku skrg. Aku gembira je.. Aku terima kenyataan..

Thanks for everything...

Al- Fatihah..

No expectations means no dissapointments..

Last nite tdo kinda awal.. too pissed off over something. Since malas nk pk so aku rasa tdo is the best way.. 9 sumthing aku da tdo..

b4 tdo aku try dl citer ghost rider. This is my 7th attempt. The previous six end up with the 'rider' movie but not the thriller one.. just imagine dah tunggu skit punya lama sekalinya citer kegemaran pervert yg kuar. But this time, I got the original one.. jap g bleh arr tgk..

Ermm.. bangun awal.. dah biasa kat kontan bgn 6.30am so aku cam takleh nk get rid d habit plak.. Bangun pg2 kat umah tatau nk wat pe.. ni la dia.. writing...writing.. writing..

My parents nk kuar sat g to attend kursus haji. So maybe aku akan prepare b'fast or something. Ermm this is their 2nd time for the Hajj. Still in the waiting list, belum confirm lg pun. Tapi okla.. sibbaik they dun mention nk g umrah jugak. Coz Mama did mention about nk g umrah on end of april, skrg cam senyap je.. maybe tak jd kot. Parents punyala baik... anak cam syaitttann. Aper tah aku ni..

Hari nii B'day IZYAN!! Mlm td aku nk reply sms hang, tapi tepon aku wat hall.. keypad takleh nk tekan.. so aku mls nk betulkan so aku sambong tdo blk.. Nak call, crdt takde.. pastu tepon kat dlm blk ni da diangkut ke blk adik aku.. so takleh gak nk tepon sebab aku mls nk kuar blk n call hang tgh2 malam.. hahaa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EG!!!

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"We talked a good 15 minutes and the conversation was just like any old friends who have not seen each other in months and just catching up. Imagine that. Like friends. He was telling me of his work, new gf and his family. Seems like he's doing well, so good for him and I told him so. He asked the same of me too. This month would be a year since the separation. It's good that we have moved on and be mature enough to be courteous to each other. I didn't feel anything when he told me of his new gf. Good luck to both of them. He asked when shall we have a drink and catch up. To that, I said to call me whenever. It's just funny how we are still in each other's space."

Too cool huh?? But understand that, no expectations means no dissapointments..
What over is over.. why cant just let it go.. start over as fren coz were started as fren kan.. takkan bcoz of wt happened terus nk berpatah arang berkerat rotan.. Still fren??

Aku pernah bg da latest scandal (hahahaaa) lagu Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne.. pagi ni aku celik2 mata, lagu tu tgh men kat LPC ni.. hahaa.. rasa cam tergelak besar plak.. tu yg mata terus celik tu.. :p

Kesengalan semakin menjadi2.. huwaaaaaaaa...............

Esok da start keje..huhuhhuu.. tak dan nk cuti pjg2..dem!!