ConGrats

"Je ne serai pas heureux de le voir triste. Il est mon ami malgré qu'il a fait. Il m'a fait mal pour le voir cette voie.."

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Acara membatalkan air semayang..

Farah & I with the newly wed couple..

With the DJC'rian..

CONGRATULATION TO YO & ODAH 4 YOUR WEDDING
May God bless you on your wedding. May your days together be full of love, care, support and passion.

My Fav Love Quotes at the moment: To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. - So, sabar k!!

"Ne venez-moi jamais de nouveau. Sa blessure moi pour ne pas vous avoir par mon côté. J'ai essayé de mener ma vie avec quelqu'un d'autre mais mon coeur vous voulait toujours. Pourquoi ce m'est arrivé ? ?

Dieu pardonnez-moi s'il vous plaît, qui ne peux jamais l'oublier. Mais ce qui peut je faire, quand mon coeur ayant toujours très envie de lui et je suis aussi l'amour avec lui!!"

Fight..

Well, masalah yg aku senri cari so aku kene setelkan professionally.. huhuu
Sapa suh kan cari hal ngan bf orng.. huhuu.. bukan salah aku pun.. kalo bertepuk sblh tangan takkan berbunyi tul tak?? Adehh... aku pun bukan betul2 seyes pun.. saja suka2.. huhuuu..

Erm.. takde paper tp gaduh cam couple.. hahaa.. tak tepon mrajuk ehh... ahakss.. lawakla.. kekadang rasa cam life ni cam aper je.. Anyway, aku pun takmo kaco rumahtangga org lelama.. kang buatnya aku sangkut betul2 naya je.. ermm cam dah nk sampai je tahap tu.. huwaaaa...

Pagi td, konon2 nk mrajuk arr sebab smlm tak call.. wakakaaa.. tapi tak dan nk mrajuk tgh2 kene pujuk tu, kantoi ngan awek dia...bengong tul.. dah tau awek ada dekat p tepon aku watpe ntah.. sengal!!

Hahaa.. aku kene sound ngan awek dia.. Rasa cam seronok je kene sound.. giler takde perasaan aku nih...(erkk aku tak dgr pun apa minah tu ckp sebab aku campak tepon kat atas katil n aku p cuci kain..) hahaaa..

Pehtu, aku layan men sms blk, n aku dok dl2 lagu.. sekalinya jumpa lg ni.. n aku tujukan lagu ni khas 4 him.. :D Lets call it a day dear.. (jgn lukakan hati lain kerna satu hati hati ini mgkn akan dilukai)

# Kekusutan jiwa buat aku sakit jiwa... ermm bare with my entry.. i mite not in rational mode :D

Cinta maafkan diriku
Yang telah membuat hatimu terluka
Karena keadaan ini
Cintaku harus memilih
Mengertilah...
Dengarkanlah hati

Kadang awan menghitam
Kadang langit tak berbintang
Kadang sesuatu yang tak ingin terjadi
Tapi terjadi...

Kadang kita tak sadari
Kenyataan mengingkari
Mengertilah cintamu dan cintaku
Harus berakhir...

Mungkin ini yang terbaik
Tuk kita berdua mengakhiri semua
Karena cinta yang terjalin
Lukai cinta yang lain

Mengertilah...
Kau bukan milikku

Meski berat ku melepaskanmu
Karena hatiku juga untukmu
Ku harus merelakanmu

Kadang sesuatu yang tak ingin terjadi...
Tapi terjadi...
Kadang kita tak sadari...
Kenyataan mengingkari...

Mengertilah cintamu dan cintaku
Harus berakhir...

Life...

Went back on Thursday, then spending time @Gombak. Having lunch @BK. Lama giler tak makan BK. Then lepaks at DJC. Nk tunggu bubur niara punya pasalla.. skalinya bubur niara takde.. kempunan aku.. demm!!

Had kuewteow bandung n tembikai jus. Makan ngan nuar, app, eg n oni. Moody.. understood. Then join dinner HELLS. Balik n tdo..

Morning, bgn n things make me cuak giler to stay @home. As nuar said, aku mengada2 n manja sangat sampai org nek menyampah. Tapi 2b honest, aku mmg cuak giler.. rasa cam ada je tangan nk menyepak aku. Walaupun aku tau sapa brani nk sepak kan.. hahaa.. takpun sapa brani nk tengking2 aku kan.. tapi possiblity always there.. ntahla semenja 2menjak yg jd manja2 ni.. semakin menjadi2 lak perangai mengada2 tu.. huhuuu

Ermm another fren was kinda moody, so aku cam takooottt nk stay umah. Didnt talk much coz takut kene tengking ke.. hahaa.. brani la dia nk tengking aku :p jitak pala kang.. Nola, just aku takut tersalah ckp kang dia bertambah moody so the best way.. keep silent.. :D or kuar je dr rumah.. duh..

Get the neraka out of the rumah, then g campus. Lepak campus jap. then makan kat niara with nuar, yo n oni. Tak lama cdorian sampai.

Petang, mengurung diri dlm blk.. takoottt... then kuar ngan onizuka p jln tar. Tukar duit. Sekarang aku da jd jutawan.. hehee.. bukan sejutawan.. tapi tigajutawan.. hahaa..

Skrg da ada kat umah.. nk tdo.. jap g...

*I hv been so ignorance till I dont know wut actually to my own fren.. Im sorry.. All I can say.. 'you r mature enoff to make wise decision.u know wut best for u. dun let emotion control u. take it professionally, not emosionally..' Easy to say hard to do...

Givin Up - Part 2

Should I do this??

My last day here in Kuantan.. till God knows when aku blk sini lagi.. huhuuu
Esok (sibbaik ada 'bodyguard'), blk kl ngan 'bodyguard' huhuu..
SO aku takyah drive.. yuhuuu... suke sangat!!!

Hari ni mmg farkin bz tak hingat dunia. Lari sana sini macam org giler.. Luckily dah setel cek MCQ for both SBM 1023 n SBT 1231. So keje aku da setel. Hutang piutang n account rumah, malam ni nk serah tugas kat Ros. Ermm barang nk dibawa blk ke KL.. malam ni nk kemas.. Kit2 yg nk digunakan nk kene cari ni. HUhuu.. memang bukan kerja aku.. tapi org yg da mcm mak aku.. takkan aku nk berkira ngan dia.. waktu2 aku susah.. waktu2 poket tgh kering tak hingat dunia.. mmg mak aku ni la yg tak berkira ngan aku.. perlu ke aku nk berkira kerah tenaga yg tak seberapa tuk dia. What she did to me.. I just can't pay it with my life..

Yea.. I'm giving up evrything..
Now its all up to u...
I've been hurt before, it doesnt mean I dun mind to be hurt again...
I'm leaving.. wish I will forget about evrything..
Plus, we r not that close :p

Bila kita merasa diri adalah yg paling malang..
Ingatla ada org yg mengalami nasib yg lebih malang..

When Papa was trying to cheer me up..
He said about giving money to shop @ Kota Kembang..
About how he knows I love to shop to cheer myself up..
He said "kita masih cukup makan pakai, jgn jadikan perkara macam tu sebagai penghalang. Kalo ada rezki, ada jodoh.. dapatla.. jgn pk negative..bergembira je. Kami sayangkan ci dan sentiasa doakan ci."

Well, yess aku anak manja.. In fact sangat manja.. kalo aku merajuk aku blh tak blk umah sampai papa call n ask me blk.. aku kinda anak yg jahat n selalu menyakitkan hati org tua.. tapi they r always there for me. Again, airmata tumpah kerna rindukan my parents!

My fren kat KL,
Can't wait to c ya.. erkk.. tetiba plak blh tercontact blk ngan ikmal, nazim, haikal, loloq, pian.. wakakakaa... aku takmo join korang da.. korang sumer merosakkan aku yg baik ni.. hahaa :p

C u guys.. t aku inform Lata bila nk lepak DH..

p/s: Bila setan menguasai pikiran.. "Ermm aku tgk tine yg rampas xbf aku ok je.. rasa tak bersalah je.. tak salah kot kalo amik bf orang ni.. Bleh ke nak try?? Kdg2 mmg rasa nk buat.. jd biatch kan.. Bleh ke EG?? Wut u say guys??"

Aku kene cepat2 buang pikiran giler ni dari otak!!

Giving up...

How I wish..

But.. I chose to give it up... Thanks for evrything..

M GIVING UP!!

M GIVING FUCKIN UP!!
M GIVING UP ON YOU!!
I SERIOUSLY DO!!
DAMN HELL, LEAVE ME ALONE NOW,
YOU GUYS SUCKSSSSSSSASSSSS!!!


GIVING UP

I used to make the light shine for you
The sun has left my sky
Velvet walls surround my sorrows
I've sacrificed my pride

Giving up on me (giving up on me)
You're giving up on me (giving up on me)
Giving up on me (giving up on me)
You're giving up on me

I've laid myself to sleep tonight
I know you've played out everything in your mind
and now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me

And when you feel the pain
I'm wishing I could stay
How can I say I love you back?
You never made me happy

You've laid yourself to sleep
I never said this wouldn't hurt
You gave up everything
I never said I'd give it back

I know you'll never change
I won't be good enough for you
I know you'll make it through
I'll never be around to see

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me

Runnin away...

"I wish I can turn back time.." - kata2 org putus asa..
I'm giving up.. I really am..

Got another 2 days to settle evrything bfore go back to KL for good.
Gonna start my tissue culture work at engineering tissue culture lab on April 2, for like a month. Perhaps I can finish evrything on time.. so dun spend too much time at gombak.

After that, decide on wut I'm gonna do for my masters..

I'll b back this thursday.. wondering..larat ke aku nak drive all the way dari kontan ni.. huhuhu...then kene g UIA, setelkan few things..

#Ferris Wheel.. hehee wait fer me!!
* Aku blk nak tuntut hadiah ni.. hehe :p

PekAsaM

Cam menariklak pekasam ni ehh.. lebih kurang camni arr smlm nye pekasam cuma derang pakai cili padi last nite..

Semalam, lepas lunch mmg rasa kepala da berat n teramatla mengantuk tak hingat dunia. Rasa cam kelopak mata ni berat giler.. so aku pun kemas2 barang kununnya nk balik la.. Sekalinya ada satu group student datang. Ermm sebagai cikgu yg baik aku layankan je walaupun mata aku ni rasanya da nk terkatup.. cam amik drugs plak.. ermm ke akak cafe tu ada letak sumthing.. hohooo

Budak2 tu tanya sal biochem yg mana aku bukan ingat sangat pun.. tapi aku gagahkan jugak menjawab.. pehtu.. diaorg nk blk aku rasa cam nk lompat2 sebab aku pun bleh blk. Tapi lepas derang kuar, ada plak budak biomedic datang tanya sal biochem 2 nyer mini thesis plak.. aku cam dah sure je yg aku takkan dpt blk awal.. Aku layan dak2 ni da kul 4. Dan siap2 packing lpc sumer, ada plak student biotech dtg, sibbaik kejap je. Bagi Thank You card.. hehee.. rasa cam kat skolah plak ehh.. Thanks 4 d card. I wasn't born to teach!!

B4 blk, jumpa Dr Jalal jap.. hantar proposal n then terus blk umah.. Which sampai kat umah da kul 5 gak. Hamplesstuss sungguh..

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Semalam Eg n Ros were kinda excited about pekasam. In fact selama 25 tahun aku da hidup belum pernah makan or tgk pekasam lg.. hehe.. So since ros bawa blk pekasam dari kg dia derang sume nk makan pekasam. Since aku tak pernah makan, so aku pun nak join gakla.. maklumla perut aku ni.. aper je yg takleh tibai.. sume masuk..huhuu

Aku tak join derang masak.. aku lepak dalam blk (maknanya kemalasan aku mencapai tahap dewa19). Derang goreng pekasam tu.. mak aihhh bau dia.. aku rasa ntahla.. takleh nak explen.. seyes aku tak lalu.. loya gakla tekak bau pekasam yg derang goreng tu. Tapi ada sambal Ros, okla aku try gak makan pekasam tu. Time makan tu okla kot sebab di cover oleh sambal tu.

Tapi perut da rasa semacam.. Lepas makan, masuk blk balik.. main game nk ilangkan rasa loya2.. tahan gakla dalam 15 minutes.. sebelum aku keluarkan blk sume mak nenek makanan yg aku da makan tu.. haiyyaa.. 10 shots aku muntah.. sampai naik lemah badan.. tekak perit semacam.. Huwaaaa aku tak bleh makan pekasam.. huhu.. rasanya benda lain sume da cube, budu, tempoyak, cencalok.. sume perut terima.. tapi pekasam..NAAAA!!!!!!!

At the age of 25, aku baru sedar aku tak pernah makan pekasam n time tu gak aku sedar.. perut aku tak terima pekasam.. hahhaaa..

Thanks 2 d chefs 4 mlm td nye dinner.. :p

# Anyway.. Special Birthday dedication tuk Sharifah Nafisa.. Happy Birthday Shifa!!! Moga dimurahkan rezki, diberkati umur n happy ever after..

mEmOrY VClip

Jumpa blk gambar2 time tgh bertungkus lumus siapkan thesis.. Arghh sweet memories time blaja.. :D

I was cleaning some unnecessary stuffs from my lpc. I came across few files which meant a lot to me back then but no longer important nowadays. Its sorta vclips taken during ‘masa kesengalan’ not so long time ago.. hehe.. so watch it for the last time n deleted everything.. the things bcome unnecessary when it meant nothing to me.. uhuhu..

There are lots of file.. the total vclip took about almost 2G.. gilak arrhh.. including vclip taken using cameraphone. Erm.. memory semalam..it shouldn’t be here in this lpc anymore.. hehee.. I dun hv CD burner so I dun see the ‘kepentingan’ 4 burning such unnecessary files.. :p

As I told Mike, buatnya aku masuk AF, ada org nk sabotaj.. tak pasal2 je all the vclip exposed to the net.. hahaa.. glamer mak kejap nyah.. :p

Well, tipula if waktu tgk all the vid I dun feel anything.. of coursela ada rasa ermm.. rougeberry skit.. :p na la.. just miss those moments.. phuuhh.. I still hv heart.. I still can missing ppl, I still feel hurt.. I’m just being ignorance.. that’s all..

Maafkan aku duhai kasih… Izinkan ku pergi…

Well, citer lama shouldn’t be brought up lg.. Aku relakan segalanya.... :)
Have a nice long life..
Take care..

Izinkan ku pergi...

Sinaran mata
Cerita segalanya
Duka lara terpendam
Memori semalam
Tinggal segala cinta
Tiada kembalinya
Abadi kasih kita
Kau bawa bersama
Mimpi indah mekar
Saat cinta bersemi
Sedetik asmara syurga
Selamanya

Pergilah rinduku
Hilangkan dirimu
Tak sanggup menanggung
Derita di kalbuku
Pergilah sayangku
Bangunlah semula
Semangat cintaku
Membara kerana dia
Tiada niatku

Tersemat jiwa
Setia bersamanya
Cinta murni berdua
Beribu tahunnya
Mimpi indah mekar
Saat cinta bersemi
Sedetik asmara syurga
Selamanya

Oooohhh... Pergilah sayangku
Bermula semula
Semangat cintaku
Membara kerana dia
Tiada niatku

Maafkan daku
Duhai kasih
Izinkan ku pergi

# Kurelakan pemergianmu...

DiaGnosE mySelF 2

Aku yg dah tuek.. demm kat mata ada wrinkles.. tepi mulut pun ada gak skit.. kene buat treatment nih..

Malam td time hantar 'kazen' eg g kemaman.. Balik keje terus g kemaman.. penat giler tak hingat dunia..

Lepas makan trus tak larat nk tahan mengantuk da.. sorry la beb aku tertdo.. dah buat macam2 nk tahan ngantuk.. last2 jalan gak.. hahaa..

I'm supposed to have class @12 but forgot about it n when students come.. I was kinda shock la a bit. Tapi cover.. the thing is, benda yg sepatutnya buat 2.. aku buat satu je.. ni pun sebab student gak..

My day kinda chaos n messy.. huhuu.. unorganized... wutsoever..

Pagi2 ada student dok bising2 pasal carry mark dia.. Hello.. student skrg ni dah berani tinggi suara kat cikgu dia. Aku senyum je.. kalo kene ngan kak ina, memang nahasla ko dapat kosong terus carry mark.. Tu aku blom cek lg midterm paper.. blom lg aku masukkan markah2 yg lain.. haii.. sibbaikla aku nyer mood arini baik skit.. kalo tak mmg nahas je budak tu aku bg kosong. Boleh ye.. tinggi2 suara ngan aku.. heii.. sabar jela..

Class kinda kelam kabut gak sebab budak2 tu tak jumpa sample.. terpaksa aku bongkar -20 nye fridge tu nk cari sample derang.. tertonggeng2 nk korek sampai ke bawah fridge tu.. pastu time nk run electrophoresis, powerpac plak buat hal.. sampai aku fed up. Arini kinda unlucky for me.. demm!!!

Nak mark OMR answer for midterm ni.. adala plak masalahnya ngan machine bengong tu. tak pasal2 aku kene cek manual.. gilo sungguh.. dahla 70 students.. mau juling mata aku.. Lantak arr.. aku buat slow2..

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Lunch, geng2 hanan blanja makan KFC. Gile2 punya blanja ni.. adehh derang ni pun students gak.. seronok gak sembang2 ngan dak2 ni.. good students just that derng ni kurang understanding je.. takpe slow2..

Have a nice chat with student2 yg berjaya dapat positive result in their experiment.. hmm terasa dihargai.. hehe..
yerla.. aku dah byk kali membebel kat derang..sampai derang pun da tak larat nk dgr aku membebel kot.. huhu..

# Otak agak mereng...

DiaGnosE mySelF

How old is this makcik??? Im having STT skrg ni..huwaaa.. tiap bgn pagi tgk cermin kalo ada kerut2 kat mata.. huhuu... Mak da tue... huhuuu

Peneman tdo yg setia...

Finally, the carry mark for Principle of Biochem class partially complete. Need to wait quiz marks from Dr Huzwah, then I'll process the OMR paper for midterm exam. N done!
Got another session for Biochemistry II, which tomorrow will b the big day. Students will finally see their hardworks throughout this semester.. Do they manage to extract RNA n get the cDNA. Honestly, I do doubt it.. coz I've been there before.. It tooks me like 30 times to do PCR over n over.. after all the tears wasted, after all the migraine suffered, after all the advices from those who loves me.. :D.. then I got my first result.. of coursela after bersusah payah macam org giler.. stay in the lab till midnite.. who knows kan.. hehe

Day after tomorrow, my responsible was only to wait for their mini-thesis which I'm so sure it gonna be my sources of migraine.. but nvm I've made up my mind.. it will be my last subject unless.. (wutever the outcome mite be la.. :p)

Started my masters project already.. to be started with all the proposal, all the technical stuffs which I rather not saying it here.. its very scientifically understood.. hahaa..

Yesterday was Dr Huzwah n Dr Sokhini's last day here in UIA. I cried when we were having sorta discussion in her room. She's like mother to me.. Her resignation is more like d biggest lost to me.. Maybe other dun feel that way but to be honest, she's the one who I run to after break off with syaril. She's the shoulder to cry on.. even after the late Iwan passed away.. she called me up in the morning just to make sure I'm ok. What a wonderful mother she has been.. But what this f**kin Kulliyyah did?? Macam budak2.. damn shit!!

Saw the reply of her resignation letter.. that f**kin MSD had no courtesy at all on replying their resignation letter. Or at least show some courtesy on behalf of INTERNATIONAL ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY. How could they just wrote 'We have no objection on your resignation. Thank you.' COme on la.. show some courtesy.. after all, she's been sharing her experience n knowledge with us for like few years. N there no even any farewell party made for them. Seriously I would rather say.. this Kul is runnin crazy with crazy ppl. F**kin them all!!

*****************************

Last nite, Irwan called me up.. just to tell me wut the biatch dayang told him. Go to hell la with wut she wanna say.. I dun wanna give a damn.. especially when it come to syaril part.. lgla aku takmo tau.. Tapi this goody goody boy irwan nak citer gak.. erm layankan je..

I was applying some cream I got from clinic due to the allergicity I got since back from Sg Panching.. (My skin looks terrible.. even i mite hv that 'muka ijo' looks when look at the rashes), when Irwan called. He knows how teribble my life was lately n perhaps he dun wanna talk about d biatch.. tapi aku insist nk tau gak.. last2 aku yg tensen.. buduhssnya tine..

Few days ago, syaril sms me about sumthing which aku tatau aper2 pun.. pastu nk angin pun ada gak.. tapi that time I was so fuckin bz n dun hv time to gv a damn bout it.. so aku buat bodo je.. aku ckp kat syaril..'SUKA ATI U LA NK BUAT APA. FROM NOW ON GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE. I WILL NVR TALK ABOUT U ANYMORE N PLZ DO THE SAME. APA PUN ORG CKP ITS NOT FROM ME!!'

Pastu, mmg tkde da dia nk sms2 aku ke aper ke.. lantak arr.. Dia pun da ada janda anak satu tu.. yg sangat comeyy... hopefully tu tak jd mangsa la..wuteverla.. his life pun..

So since aku da ada mutual agreement ngan syaril.. done la.. Tapi semalam, apa yg aku dgr dari irwan sempat buat aku nak muntah darah berkahak kat depan tine sialll tu.. Bukan setakat nak tendang je tine tu.. aku siap nk karate n belah 77 lagi.. budushh betul!!.. Ha amik kot.. aku da marah tahap dewa dah ni..

Benda dalam kelambu takyah arr nk citer kat org.. kejadah haramnye nk citer sume benda kat org.. aku lagila.. kalo citer kat org tu namanya membuka pekung didada.. kalo pekung tu wangi takper gakla.. ni dahla busuk hitam berkarat.. nak buka bg org tau.. bg org tgk watper.. tu org giler n psycho je akan buat camtu.. aku blom giler lagila.. pasal syaril ngan awek baru dia tu.. mana aku nk tau aper2.. aku jumpa sekali je.. g mam arr derang.. takde kene mengena ngan aku.. tine siall ni buat citer plak.. weh kandiaq.. kalo ko nk sangat kat syaril tu.. p jerla kat dia blk.. takyah nk buat2 citer buruk sal aku kat kawan2 dia.. in fact, dak2 aku kat damansara tu pun da tak larat nk dgr nama aku ko buruk2kan.. aku ok je sebab aku tak dgr.. tapi aku ada byk tinga kat sana.. jaga2 arr..

I was pissed off last nite.. dahla ngan allergic ni lagi.. siott je!!

*********************************

My POB students got Biostat presentation today.. Early in the morning they sms me to tell the venue n ask me to come n gv support.. Okla.. End up their presentation started late in the evening.. almost 4.15 baru start..wuteverla..

I was there a bit late, first group was presenting their findings.. my boys didn't come to see me yesterday so I don't know what actually they r goin to present.. tgkla nanti.. jgn buat malu aku sudah.. Biostatistic is covered by Br Ibrahim, Aloy n kak Aisyah.. so td 3-3 pun ada kat sana.. just them.. dulu when my batch were presenting our project, the dean was there, deputy dean, even current dean came on our presentation. But nowadays.. Im so sad to see the situation. Can't stay there lama2 coz I got stdnt nak jumpa pasal carry mark dia..

Hanan n d geng nk blanja makan.. ermm.. menarik gak tu.. siap nk blanja tgk citer 300.. menarik gak kot kuar ngan students ni.. hahaa..

erm.. Oni, sorryla tak dapat nk elak pelawaan ni. aku terpaksa gak kuar ngan students... hehe..

#STT - Syndrome takut tua..

Biochemistry II

My second last class b4 I can hv a nice long rest from teaching.. :p
Marking their lab reports is enof to gv me headache n migrain.. Dowwhh..
I was complaining about their reports n give some tips on what actually they need to write in their discussion part when there was a boy stand up n saying things like.. "We're first year students.. there's a lot for us to learn.. DUn expect us up to the level u wanted us to be.."
N I was like :-O!!

I never expect one of my student will say such a 'great' thing to me.. I mean in a way.. trying to be honest with me.. Of course, it was a good comment anyway.. but Hello.. I've been saying things over n over.. This group of students are the advance one.. u know.. I tried lotz of things to make they understand what actually we're doin.. or what actually I'm trying to deliver.. They do understand when I asked them about it.. But the next class.. they forgot..

Well, I used to be like them before.. n suddenly I realized.. that behaviour really troublesome.. Demm!!
Im facing such a problem nowadays.. n Thank God there's only 1 session left bfore they start to sit on their final exam!

Trying to have heart to heart session.. wohahahaaa...
Askin if there's anything they wanted to complaint..
If there's anything they dun like about my way of teaching..
If there's anything they dun like about me!!

The response was unexpected.. walah!!
They wanted me to be in their Clinical Biochemestry next semester..
They wanted to see me again in next semester..
Again I was shock!!
Seriously I thought, I'm such a nagger n some of them dun like me.. hahaa
They said.. they just lurvveee to see me naggin in front of the class..
uhukkss... perli nampak

Ermm.. do feel like an artist on the red carpet.. when they started to snap my pictures... alahh macam tak jumpa lg je.. huhuu...

Getting close to my masters project.. Im too tired to start the new project.. got another 150 reports to be marked!!..

#Sabar separuh dari Iman...
*Lissa weddin this sat.. I'm goin to marang soon!!!

Kini Ku Bahagia..

Aritu tgh2 dl2 lagu dari multiply.. came across one song from Audy.. Aku pun dl la.. mana tau best ke... then..lepas dengar lagu2 tu.. aku suka.. hahaha... it's my fav song rite now..

Saat ku berpisah dengannya
Duniaku kini berwarna
Takkan pernah ada lagi cerita bersamanya

Mungkin dulu ku tak mengerti
Mungkin juga terlalu dini
Dia yang pernah berjanji
Tlah berdusta

Dan aku tak kuasa.. jiwaku pun tersiksa
Haruskah ku korbankan cinta
Tapi ku terlena..nikmati indah cinta
Kukira tuk slamanya

Dan kini.. aku pun tlah bebas
Sepi ku pun tlah sirna
Tanpa harus slalu pikirkannya
Dan aku.. kini telah bahagia lakukan yang kusuka
Tanpa harus cemaskannya

Semua telah berubah
Hidupku kan ceria
Tanpa ada lagi airmata
Diri ini tlah bisa
Melupakan semua.. sampai nanti kutemukan cinta

# "I hope, akula orang yg ko maksudkan tu.." - sudah2 la tu.. aku da tak larat nk layan perangai2 yg buat aku rasa loya n nk muntah.. should I say.. sume pun sama je.. sucks as a hell..
* Too tired with student's reports.. aku rasa cam nk muntah da tgk report yg ntah2 paper ntah tu.. Aku tatau derang paham ke tak ape yg aku dok membebel kat depan tu.. Arghhh!!

Invisible war...

Tepat 30 days..
FInally...
I tot there'll be no words till the end..
Thanks anyway..

Hectic day..
Got lotz of things to do..

Benda lama takyah bring up blk..
I'm ok..
I'm over it already pun..
Tak perlu bangkitkan blk..
It's ok with me..

I'm kewl what :p

Invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Strained manoeuvres, keeping silent score
In this invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
Both wishing that it was like before
In this invisible war

Talk about a fine line between love and hate
We've lost more than our direction of late
Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends
We've never been lovers, now we're not even friends

In this invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Wounded deeply, the scar is here to stay
Opening up at little things I do and say
You always want things to be as before
So I make you angry and you bleed a little more

In this invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Wanna run away
I still love you
Gotta go away
I always love you
Gotta be away
Time heals all wounds

#Better fren than enemy... Lovers are meant to be enemy.. :p Izzit??

Dream..

First of all, Takziah to EG n Family for the loss of family relative last nite... Be strong fren, Allah sayangkan mereka more than we do.. redhakan pemergian mereka..

I thought I'm strong enoff to face such situation..
I thought there'll never drop of tears to be wasted for the late Iwan..
I've broken all the promises..
I'm sorry darl..

I was ok when I got the news.. when they get into the house n nana told me what's wrong with EG..
I thought it was bcoz of the guy.. but then I was wrong..
I'm strong enoff to accept the fact of someone death.. I thought..
But then when she come n cry on my lap.. I just couldnt hold my tears..
Exactly 15days after he went to see God..
I've been laughing n enjoying my life such nothing happened..
I realized one thing..
I've forgot bout him all this while..
No more Yassin was recited..
No more do'a was recited.. I was too fuckin busy with my world.. Damn me!!

Yea.. my fren is right..
We'll cry the loss just for a while..
Then we'll forget about it..
I cry not bcoz of I'm thinkin of him..
But how I break my promise..

I couldn't sleep..
I know it's hard for Eg to do so..
I do understand the feeling..
I'm the one who should soothe her up.. but it end up.. she calm me down..
Thanks soulmate :)

I've been craving to meet him in my dream since he went up..
Last nite for the first time in 15 days..
No words just a smile..
But I know.. he knows how I'm missing him..

*Bersemadi dengan tenang.. Moga Rohmu dicucuri rahmat Allah..

Happy 27th Anniversary

27 years ago on this date, a couple was blessing with a tied called marriage..
2 years after that, the couple was blessed with the presence of their first daughter..
As mentioned by grandma.. it was hard for them to get a baby..
Lotz of place they went, lotz of money they spent..
Just to make sure the wife get pregnant..
Well, some say.. the husband don't know the technique.. (lol)
But the fact is the wife had problem..
Nway, now after 25 years they got their first baby..
The baby is wishing them Happy 27th Anniversary..
Happy Anniversary Mama n Papa..
I love you with all my heart..
May this marriage will last forever..


#Miss my mom n dad rite now.. :(

What a relief...

I know some ppl said I'm lucky..
But that some person mite not know how I crave to be a lucky person :p
Nway.. doesnt matter...
Alhamdulillah dah dipermudahkan jalan2 kehidupan...
Perhaps, this time I'll make wise decision...
Apalah guna mengharap pada yg tak pasti...

As I said b4, being able tu be rational is the best gift nowadays...
I'm thankful for that...
Thankful to Allah, to my frens, to my family...

Mite be not lucky enoff in certain aspects..
But choose to be happy or to be success...
I go over success n be happy once succeeded..
Perghh.. cita2 tinggi menggunung.. :p
Wutever..
The offer is such a relief..
Money..
Happy..
Future..
Marriage?? errr.. Nah.. (this one.. lama lagi :p)

#Wish me luck!!

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

Change........

It’s been 10 days, Iwan went to see God. All the promises made to him should be done!. I’m trying bit by bit.. With hope, I’ll transform to the person I used to be one day. Though I know, I will never b the same me 2 years ago when I first met him. But as I wanted to be sum1 good after all wrongdoings I’ve done which drag me into miserable life lately, I should stick to the promise..

A fren told me, when his fren passed away.. he had a little what they called as ‘anjakan paradigma’ :p hehee… he bcome a good boy but it just for a while.. Once the thought of the ceases body gone.. the hope.. the dream.. the promises are also gone.. Nothing was remembered except how great life was at that time.. I wish my promise to change will be forever.. I wanna b a good gurl :p

Went to UIA Gombak last Friday just to have a nice day out.. Met old frens a little while, then busy packin stuffs to be brought back to Kuantan.. Oh ya, I donated blood. I was askin myself why?? It’s bcoz of I’m thankful to blood donaters whose blood was used for Iwan’s blood transfusion.. Seems like its my new responsibilities now.. :D

Life getting better I presume.. Being able to think straight is the biggest gift nowadays.. coz lately I was being moody n emotional.. Thanks to the goody goody frens.. Thanks to my Lovvy for being there for me..

Breakin up..

I got this from The Hustler's, and I can say.. it's quite great n somehow, reflects what actually happened to me.. :p what actually I felt.. long time ago.. long time ago darl.. it was back then..
change it to the 'him' version.. obviously bcoz I'm a gurl.. :p

“Well, what can I say dude? What can I say?”

“If I have learned anything from this, it’s that the most intense part of being in love is the falling in love bit (start) and the break up phase (end) – that’s when your guts get wrenched and you feel like your heart is being ripped out and chopped violently into a thousand pieces.”

“And you know what? That’s the best parts of the time you spend being in love. It’s like you watch these romantic series – Winter Sonata and all, and the main lead actors/actresses falling in love and the yearning and missing-each-other shit kinda makes you feel like shit and on top of the world all over again. That’s the best part of being in love dude.”

“Lately, since my breakup with the guy, I have had flashbacks on how fantastic it was when we met, how our first kiss felt, the exquisite moments of our first time making love to each other and how his face lighted up when I bought him present and stuff…”

“It’s like our whole time together flashed right before my eyes. I started to remember everything and reminiscing about it brought a fresh wave of pain in my heart. Hell, even if I had to do it all over again, I will go ahead and share those experiences with him. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before. Sure, it hurts like so damn painful but I never regretted knowing him and sharing those moments with him.”

“Something I never told you dude… The last time we met about some months back, he just held me in his arms for 10 minutes, put his head against mine and just hugged him silently, not a word exchanged between us. And as I held him, I prayed for his happiness and God’s peace to come upon him that he may continue his life well.”

“Raising my head, I looked down at him and saw his smile. I really knew then that he loved me. And that comforted me a lot even though he had wanted to break up with me. It comforted me that he was fine and I could see in his face that he loved me so much but yet, he wanted to live right and so I reluctantly let him go.”

“My heart was at peace, knowing that I did not lose him because he didn’t love me. In spite of it all, he still loved me and knowing that was enough for me. I guess after all that time, investment and heartfelt effort in our relationship – just knowing that he loved me gave me strength to let him go…”

“Sometimes, when you love someone so much, you let him go because you love him and you want him to be happy. Even if you are crying deep inside and even if you are hurting so damn badly, you just pick yourself up and move on. Because I feel if you love someone, you shouldn’t force him to be with you. Love is about giving freely and receiving freely the love from another….”

“I will always love you… Be happy and be free, my love…”

Yea.. I will always love you...