Commitment...

After so many years.. I never expect this will come up again, especially in the condition where M very close to the uncertainty. What the heck if ppl suddenly become busy body n try to design some1's life, some1's future?? I had a very tough days for the past few days. With the due just around the corner and none of the product yet to finish.. I had 4 things to do on my own, and so far only one is done. The rest is still a big question mark!! The competition is on next tuesday, not tomorrow. On 13th.

Remember my last n3 about IDD, yea this time around again we participated for 7 items. Me myself had 4 products.. (giler tamak boss aku ni.. yg wat keje aku sorang gak..). Tomorrow I need to do the panel acceptance test but yet products are not ready.. huhuu..

The second thing, which is kinda gimme headache is about my age.. erkk whattafak kan??
Tula, me rileks giler about being 27.. wah.. nice number.. both are my lucky no what.. hehee.. but u know la kan.. older ppl seeing me being single at this age.. owh.. I hate this...

Whatever it is.. m so in dilemma... bencikkkkk!!!!

* Ntahla.. I hate this situation.. nk lari mana plak??

Be patience Cici...

I'm kinda out of my mind rite now..
So many things at one time.. I'm not blaming anyone.. but last nite I was so down that i almost put the blame on.... but then I realize this is all the test I've got from Allah. I gotta be patience and face it wisely..

My lpc was jahanam n asked nahar to at least retrieve some document for me but unluckily, he couldnt save a thing. Not even that F hard disk. I don't bother about the hard disk. I can buy the new one, or the better one.. but the files i got in there.. My 3 months masters material. Everything is gone. I did a copy on my thumb drive but it was affected by virus n I lost everything. Not a thing is retrieved n I'm really out of my mind. I wish this trip will wash away all the problems and I'll feel better.. I hope.. I really hope.. God help me on this please...

I'm having class this thursday and not much to prepare as we've prepared most of the things earlier. But still feel guilty leave the class on Dr Raj alone. Sorry Sir. i really need a break!!

Some of it, i rather not to expose it here.. I'll take care of it myself.

This morning, when I'm about to get my ass out of d house, I couldn't find the key. Sorry, I was really pissed off coz there's no key left n how on earth I'm gonna get out of that house.. Keep cursing all the way looking for that F key. Since I was so late.. I went out thru back door! Found my key at the backseat of my car. Damn irritated.. I was so freaking mad!! Bengang tahap dewa19 da tau tak!!!!

Once I reach campus, straight to Dr Jalal room but he's not around. Damn I'm late. Warghhh sangat tersiksa arini.. I wanna send the lpc to the town of they can retrieve the documents in there.. Pray for me guys!!


#Going back this evening with full of stone on my head..

Kehilangan...

My laptop dah jahanam..




I'm so tensed!!!! Adakah dia merajuk sebab aku ngan nana gurau2 nk beli laptop kaler2?? huhuuu

Nway.. get away with the laptop thingy fer a while.. I need a break!!!

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Husni, aru n their fren ( I couldn't recall his name) were visiting me last monday. I wasn't well remember.. so they just pay a visit for a 'sick' fren. I guess Aru is getting hotter each time I meet him.. hohooo.. (Papa sangat melarang aku meminati kaum India) hehee.. Anyway, nice meeting plus knowing the other guy who turn to be personal trainer kinda exciting a bit. I need his help to reduce the spare tyre I got here n there.. hohooo..

Last nite, prepare media for class until almost 2am. I left those guys to do the rest. My eyes are hardly open. Seyes yesterday kinda hard day. Plus ptg tu i was preparing so much thing which make me so tired like hell..

Okla.. mite prop I wont b able to update the blog frequently coz my laptop is JAHANAM!! Any1 nk belikan laptop baru?? huwaaa.. i need my laptop!!


# Rasa sangat tertekan tanpa kehadiran laptop tercinta.. huhuhhh

What?

Part 1

What would you feel when suddenly u feel like some ppl wanted to know about ur life.. whats goin on with your life.. wutcha doin.. who's ur current partner.. it's fine if you're celebrities but as layman like me??

Im getting sick with all such questions guys.. especially question smells similar with these one..
"Who r u seeing currently?" or " Are u dating anyone?" or "Is it true u n him urmm.. u know.."

Hello.. wake up!! Its my life.. its my fuckin life so up to me what am I doing or what am I heading to..perghh ni betul2 liya..aka..liar ni.. :p

Part 2

N How would u feel when suddenly one certain sum1 know about u.. more than u know about urself.. ermm.. kinda pelik gak when this certain ppl bleh plak telling ppl about me which I've no idea mana dia dapat berita2 pelik tu..

Nah.. I just come back from visiting a fren.. then otw tu.. a fren of mine called n ktorg bergayut spjg2 jalan tu.. No.. its not about him.. its about what he told me.. Takpe.. later kita citer..

Part 3

Izzit fair to say I love you when u dun feel it at all?? Let say just to jaga hati or just wanna say it.
Heart is a complex organ.. yet its the most complicated one.. Till now, I still dun understand my heart..

Heart is not to be understood.. Only do what your heart tells you (Princess Diana)..

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OK.. lets start one by one..
Tapi mata da ngantuk.. otak pun da penat..
tangan da malas..

OKla.. just secebis peringatan..bukan amaran.. not trying to be man coz I know I'm a gurl ehh silap I'm a cute gurl.. :p

Perlu ke aku nk buat annoucement about myself?? Mind your own business la k.

Sriyes tak sangka arr jadi sampai macam ni skali. Aku ingat tak kacau orang, takdela org nk kacau aku. Tapi lain plak jadinya.

Disclaimer:: Im still single and available k.. Kenyataan aku da bertunang or kawin or kejadah haram semua itu adalah fitnah semata2..

Pastu ngan sapa aku nk berkawan, bertunang atau kawin da ditetapkan kat luh mahfuz.. aku hanya akan menjalani je nanti.. so tunggu n lihat jerla.. bleh??

I know Im getting older.. in fact aku da suku abad da pun.. tapi jodoh pertemuan ajal maut semua tu ditangan Allah.. He knows best.. OK!!

Biggest decision in life...

....::::: STILL IN THE CONFUSION STATE:::::....

Masters or working??
Still unsure myself.. To be honest with I'm stucked btw both. Stucked btw dreams, goals n life pressure. Few frens gv their opinion, of course from different view n angle. Appreciate that n thanks very much. I'm giving up.. im really am.. I tot I can hv a thought after come back from Bandung. After the holiday but still up till this moment I still can't make up mind. Demm!!

Bro Rizal,
Ermm.. I dunno.. know its hard for you to help me out.. but its harder for me to decide.
I really out of my mind rite now.. What should I do??

I'm doing ELISA n again RNA works over here in Engineering lab. Ohya n tissue culture of course. Seeing all the masters students getting tired with their job, wanted to stop their research n all the problems they r facing.. it frightened me to death on how am i going to survive in this so called research life.. especially in newly established department. Im so farkin scared at the moment.. MoM...how m i goin to tell ya??

As for the working life.. yea.. if we look at certain perspectve.. this job will expose me to the real life.. to the real working environment.. to the real pressure.. but I don't know where the road will lead me.. I know nothing about this new thing.. What my future will be? Sure, my life is all about job n getting pay everymonth n thats it.. Well, the good thing is I'm gonna hv lotz of new fren out there.. gotta be more socialize..hehee.. wuteverla..

So wut do u say guys?? I've wasted my precious time... should I waste even more? After masters what?? Lecturer?? Farkin neraka.. That would be in d dream.. especially when I've to work under lessbrainedm0reheartdperson. Evrything gotta be in d sense of emotional.. like a child.. my situation??nobody understand..well its not for your understanding pun.. those who knows will understand.. :(

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Whatever decision I'm goin to make.. will affect my future.. So??

Fark'ap

We were in d middle of conversation about the gurls he 'went thru' (mind wif my farkin words!!), when I was saying like..

Me: I think she's beautiful than the previous one..
Him: She's d one la.. The previous one is *iya.
Me: Wait Im confuse..
Him: The previous one is *iya, this one is *iya. (Damn!! the spelling is almost the same.. :p )
Me: Ooo..
Him: And this one.. (while pointing his finger to me..) {read btw lips.. there's no sound but I can read his lips saying.. } SIALL..

N I was :-O. What the fark'ap he's thinkin he's saying. Damn!!

Hello..
Did I miss sumthing here?? I miss the whole thing ok. I dun know bout ur farkin damn gurls.. I wasnt intentionally askin u.. How on earth would u put me that way?? Well yea.. I can see.. Im not as good as those gurl but at least tell me who the farkin hell are u to call me in such manner. May my name not reflects my personality.. who farkin care?? It's not yet a week!!

Askin me not to write it in blog.. my blog so its up to me what to write!! Dun like.. get the hell out of here.. Oh ya.. lemme give u sumthing.. ermm see my middle finger up. u Sucks!!

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Went to ofis quite early just to face heavy traffic. I was about to drive WNK, but thinkin bout the cost of driving WNK comparing with BGX, I would prefer BGX tho its manual but its cost effective.. Hopefully I wont spent the remaining 300 bucks within this 2 weeks.. huhu.. Need to be wise spender.. hahaa.. (that would b impossible). Can't wait for my 'duit terpijak'.. should be around 2.5k.. hahaaa.. makcik kayo!!

Ermm my mood wasn't ok this evening, so decide not to drop kt Damansara. Sorry guys, Im not in da mood. In fact, I didn't take the usual route. I went thru Sg Buluh. When on earth arrr the road will be completely open to public?? Heavy jammed gak kat sana. Tensen.. If only I can put water on my head, It should be completely boiled by the time I reached home. It saved me RM4.20 for the toll. Well, I've overspent during lunch so I should cover the other part.. hahaa..


# I'm ok now.. As the denda.. Ermm.. candat sotong!! heheheee...

DiaGnosE mySelF 2

Aku yg dah tuek.. demm kat mata ada wrinkles.. tepi mulut pun ada gak skit.. kene buat treatment nih..

Malam td time hantar 'kazen' eg g kemaman.. Balik keje terus g kemaman.. penat giler tak hingat dunia..

Lepas makan trus tak larat nk tahan mengantuk da.. sorry la beb aku tertdo.. dah buat macam2 nk tahan ngantuk.. last2 jalan gak.. hahaa..

I'm supposed to have class @12 but forgot about it n when students come.. I was kinda shock la a bit. Tapi cover.. the thing is, benda yg sepatutnya buat 2.. aku buat satu je.. ni pun sebab student gak..

My day kinda chaos n messy.. huhuu.. unorganized... wutsoever..

Pagi2 ada student dok bising2 pasal carry mark dia.. Hello.. student skrg ni dah berani tinggi suara kat cikgu dia. Aku senyum je.. kalo kene ngan kak ina, memang nahasla ko dapat kosong terus carry mark.. Tu aku blom cek lg midterm paper.. blom lg aku masukkan markah2 yg lain.. haii.. sibbaikla aku nyer mood arini baik skit.. kalo tak mmg nahas je budak tu aku bg kosong. Boleh ye.. tinggi2 suara ngan aku.. heii.. sabar jela..

Class kinda kelam kabut gak sebab budak2 tu tak jumpa sample.. terpaksa aku bongkar -20 nye fridge tu nk cari sample derang.. tertonggeng2 nk korek sampai ke bawah fridge tu.. pastu time nk run electrophoresis, powerpac plak buat hal.. sampai aku fed up. Arini kinda unlucky for me.. demm!!!

Nak mark OMR answer for midterm ni.. adala plak masalahnya ngan machine bengong tu. tak pasal2 aku kene cek manual.. gilo sungguh.. dahla 70 students.. mau juling mata aku.. Lantak arr.. aku buat slow2..

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Lunch, geng2 hanan blanja makan KFC. Gile2 punya blanja ni.. adehh derang ni pun students gak.. seronok gak sembang2 ngan dak2 ni.. good students just that derng ni kurang understanding je.. takpe slow2..

Have a nice chat with student2 yg berjaya dapat positive result in their experiment.. hmm terasa dihargai.. hehe..
yerla.. aku dah byk kali membebel kat derang..sampai derang pun da tak larat nk dgr aku membebel kot.. huhu..

# Otak agak mereng...

DiaGnosE mySelF

How old is this makcik??? Im having STT skrg ni..huwaaa.. tiap bgn pagi tgk cermin kalo ada kerut2 kat mata.. huhuu... Mak da tue... huhuuu

Peneman tdo yg setia...

Finally, the carry mark for Principle of Biochem class partially complete. Need to wait quiz marks from Dr Huzwah, then I'll process the OMR paper for midterm exam. N done!
Got another session for Biochemistry II, which tomorrow will b the big day. Students will finally see their hardworks throughout this semester.. Do they manage to extract RNA n get the cDNA. Honestly, I do doubt it.. coz I've been there before.. It tooks me like 30 times to do PCR over n over.. after all the tears wasted, after all the migraine suffered, after all the advices from those who loves me.. :D.. then I got my first result.. of coursela after bersusah payah macam org giler.. stay in the lab till midnite.. who knows kan.. hehe

Day after tomorrow, my responsible was only to wait for their mini-thesis which I'm so sure it gonna be my sources of migraine.. but nvm I've made up my mind.. it will be my last subject unless.. (wutever the outcome mite be la.. :p)

Started my masters project already.. to be started with all the proposal, all the technical stuffs which I rather not saying it here.. its very scientifically understood.. hahaa..

Yesterday was Dr Huzwah n Dr Sokhini's last day here in UIA. I cried when we were having sorta discussion in her room. She's like mother to me.. Her resignation is more like d biggest lost to me.. Maybe other dun feel that way but to be honest, she's the one who I run to after break off with syaril. She's the shoulder to cry on.. even after the late Iwan passed away.. she called me up in the morning just to make sure I'm ok. What a wonderful mother she has been.. But what this f**kin Kulliyyah did?? Macam budak2.. damn shit!!

Saw the reply of her resignation letter.. that f**kin MSD had no courtesy at all on replying their resignation letter. Or at least show some courtesy on behalf of INTERNATIONAL ISLAMIC UNIVERSITY. How could they just wrote 'We have no objection on your resignation. Thank you.' COme on la.. show some courtesy.. after all, she's been sharing her experience n knowledge with us for like few years. N there no even any farewell party made for them. Seriously I would rather say.. this Kul is runnin crazy with crazy ppl. F**kin them all!!

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Last nite, Irwan called me up.. just to tell me wut the biatch dayang told him. Go to hell la with wut she wanna say.. I dun wanna give a damn.. especially when it come to syaril part.. lgla aku takmo tau.. Tapi this goody goody boy irwan nak citer gak.. erm layankan je..

I was applying some cream I got from clinic due to the allergicity I got since back from Sg Panching.. (My skin looks terrible.. even i mite hv that 'muka ijo' looks when look at the rashes), when Irwan called. He knows how teribble my life was lately n perhaps he dun wanna talk about d biatch.. tapi aku insist nk tau gak.. last2 aku yg tensen.. buduhssnya tine..

Few days ago, syaril sms me about sumthing which aku tatau aper2 pun.. pastu nk angin pun ada gak.. tapi that time I was so fuckin bz n dun hv time to gv a damn bout it.. so aku buat bodo je.. aku ckp kat syaril..'SUKA ATI U LA NK BUAT APA. FROM NOW ON GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE. I WILL NVR TALK ABOUT U ANYMORE N PLZ DO THE SAME. APA PUN ORG CKP ITS NOT FROM ME!!'

Pastu, mmg tkde da dia nk sms2 aku ke aper ke.. lantak arr.. Dia pun da ada janda anak satu tu.. yg sangat comeyy... hopefully tu tak jd mangsa la..wuteverla.. his life pun..

So since aku da ada mutual agreement ngan syaril.. done la.. Tapi semalam, apa yg aku dgr dari irwan sempat buat aku nak muntah darah berkahak kat depan tine sialll tu.. Bukan setakat nak tendang je tine tu.. aku siap nk karate n belah 77 lagi.. budushh betul!!.. Ha amik kot.. aku da marah tahap dewa dah ni..

Benda dalam kelambu takyah arr nk citer kat org.. kejadah haramnye nk citer sume benda kat org.. aku lagila.. kalo citer kat org tu namanya membuka pekung didada.. kalo pekung tu wangi takper gakla.. ni dahla busuk hitam berkarat.. nak buka bg org tau.. bg org tgk watper.. tu org giler n psycho je akan buat camtu.. aku blom giler lagila.. pasal syaril ngan awek baru dia tu.. mana aku nk tau aper2.. aku jumpa sekali je.. g mam arr derang.. takde kene mengena ngan aku.. tine siall ni buat citer plak.. weh kandiaq.. kalo ko nk sangat kat syaril tu.. p jerla kat dia blk.. takyah nk buat2 citer buruk sal aku kat kawan2 dia.. in fact, dak2 aku kat damansara tu pun da tak larat nk dgr nama aku ko buruk2kan.. aku ok je sebab aku tak dgr.. tapi aku ada byk tinga kat sana.. jaga2 arr..

I was pissed off last nite.. dahla ngan allergic ni lagi.. siott je!!

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My POB students got Biostat presentation today.. Early in the morning they sms me to tell the venue n ask me to come n gv support.. Okla.. End up their presentation started late in the evening.. almost 4.15 baru start..wuteverla..

I was there a bit late, first group was presenting their findings.. my boys didn't come to see me yesterday so I don't know what actually they r goin to present.. tgkla nanti.. jgn buat malu aku sudah.. Biostatistic is covered by Br Ibrahim, Aloy n kak Aisyah.. so td 3-3 pun ada kat sana.. just them.. dulu when my batch were presenting our project, the dean was there, deputy dean, even current dean came on our presentation. But nowadays.. Im so sad to see the situation. Can't stay there lama2 coz I got stdnt nak jumpa pasal carry mark dia..

Hanan n d geng nk blanja makan.. ermm.. menarik gak tu.. siap nk blanja tgk citer 300.. menarik gak kot kuar ngan students ni.. hahaa..

erm.. Oni, sorryla tak dapat nk elak pelawaan ni. aku terpaksa gak kuar ngan students... hehe..

#STT - Syndrome takut tua..