Thanks Dad...

I came home a little early today coz I went out from UiTM early than usual so I don't hv to face heavy traffic n I got my way smooth all the way home. Mama asks me to get fishcake n fishball for mee goreng. Today is our turn to send foods to surau as 'moreh' (is this how its spelled?). Take sometimes at 'pasar malam' and buy some stuffs. It's been a while I didn't cook at home. So today I've had my self-cooked kailan and cendawan goreng tiram. Not very tasty coz tak reti nk agak garam.. hehee

While we were having our food during break fast, mama told me about the letter. What letter? I asked Ika to get it for me. Owh, its the offer letter for the master thingy. N what the HELL for? I dun think I'm gonna need it anymore. I wash my feet already. UIA.. its just a uni where I spent to get my degree n get my time wasted. Poor me...

I've been so messed up lately. With the personal problems, this study problems, the family thingy. I even gave up my life though I never tell ppl. Yea, I GAVE UP MY LIFE. Sound stupid huh? But hell sure, u mite did worst that I ever done if u were in my shoes. Alhamdulillah, Allah gv me chance to repent n hv the strength to regain my will n strength to fight whatever bad feeling I'm having at that moment. And Thank Allah, that HE doesn't let me walk alone. HE gives someone to walk with me along the way. Someone who really understand me, someone who always there for me thru my good and bad times.

That's my DAD. My lovely Dad. The best Dad in the world. Though sometimes, as teenager I found Dad is too much but deep inside I know, there's nobody perfect. So do my Dad. But he always my hero.

Mom was like kinda pushy about me enroll to UIA's master program. But then, I insist not to go. I've got enof of wasting so much time overthere. Furthermore, I know who I am. I wanna be a better person n I wanna change. So it's better for me to get back with the family who can observe me all the times. I've done so much wrongdoings n now I'm begging for HIS forgiveness.
So I've decided not to accept the offer n not to reject. As time passing by, the offer will be revoked. So nothing to worry. Nway, I even got my matric no. already.. hohohooo...

Above all, the most important person in leading me making such decision is Papa. Yea my Dad. At one time, he says something that touch my heart.. it really make me cry.. Papa said, 'I would prefer u stay here with me. At least I know whether u've money or not. You hide so much things from me, never tell me if u've problems. To know u don't hv money make me feel as I'm a failed father.' Of course in Malay. Lately, since I'm at home.. we've spent so much time chatting about me n my life. He misses to spent time with me when I was in Kuantan.

So after all, what I'm gonna do?? I don't think I'm ready for the business thingy. So I gotta find things to do. As to fill my free time.

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As for now, I manage not to get in touch with Nuar. Though if he calls, or sms, still aku layan cam biasa. But I'll try my best not to c him. Though I hv to sacrify all friends.. I would. I'm sorry. I'm just too tired with the game. I wanna quit as I'm too old to play. I wish him good life. How much I wish for syaril n app, that much I wish for him. There's no difference btw all of them. And, I'll b a good fren with him later when I'm cool. When I manage to forgive him dgn ikhlas. For time being, its still hurt.. n its still bleeding... Bare with me..

# Esok aku ada break fast date with Dayang.. Believe it or not.. haha.. plus, awek syaril yg janda tu da delete aku dr fs syaril, del phone aku dr phone syaril, delete YM id aku.. ermm anything yg bleh buat syaril in contact ngan aku blk la kiranya. Huh.. amikla.. aku tak heran..