Hikmah...

I spent almost 4 hours discussing about my future with Abang Tommy, my cozin. Talking to him, make me realize my ambition to be scientist is not something that I can easily reach especially at my condition n status. So simply create a new ambition?? Izzit?? I do think that way.. but I argue on not becoming scientist part. So turn out, I still wanna pursue my study. The thing is, i don't bother in what field. Even in business can do.. hehe..

Further study..
and then what?? He asked me.
I said, well then I wanna be a scientist.
Where? Can't u see, makan gaji..lecturing n at the same time do some research. Where u can go?. He added.
I wonder... yea.. He's right.
Think about it.. he said..
Why don't u do something simple but more on end product oriented. No more fundamental research. All this while, u've been surrounded by those fundamental researcher.. so u didn't see the clear picture. In this life, nvr think the same way as others think. Think out of the box. After such research, what then? What will u get? After how many years? I'm not saying ur lecturers are not good but as M'sian.. yes its good for them. But for ppl like us.. we need to think ahead. No more fundamental research based thingy. Perhaps do something which u can sell later on. I'm about to ask ur dad some money. Thinking on having family business. I need some money. Perhaps he can help. So I want u to think what u gonna do for ur masters which can be sold as the company's product.

Fuh..That part of it.

Then, at home, I've discussing the same thing or telling papa whatever my coz said to me.
Papa is very happy to hear that. But I'll bet the business will only start after next year. For sure, I need to get my very own masters first. Why is that I dun hv the business minded as Papa n my coz hving?? Well, again my masters is fully sponsored by my dad. That is what he want. Me near to him. Thats the reason he wants me back to KL for good. Anything for my family..

They will nvr let me fall...

My coz ask me to start working tomorrow morning but I ask for delay till next week. I need rest what. So frens, I'll be working @ UITM. I didnt get 2800 per month, but I won't be miskin. We may not so kaya, but Alhamdulillah, rezki is everywhere.

See the hikmah.. Always listen to ur parents. As for my case, I took it as I 'menderhaka' to my parents by wanted to stay at Kontan. Mama said, it's like Karma.. ni baru balasan dunia. huhuuu

To be non-malaysian citizen and living in Malaysia is hard if u r in certain community. Sometimes I do feel like, I've never welcome here as so many ppl try to make things harder for me. but having my dad who actually knows it is my sensitivity part helps me a lot. Without him, I would hv end up being minah kilang kot. I'm thankful that my dad is businessman. Though he's not very successful at least, I've never facing financial problem.

Family is the only ppl will be around u when nobody is.. So decision has been made. Tomorrow I'll see shayda kat Gombak. Maybe I can gv some help.

Thanks every1 for the pray.. May this Ramadhan will bring the hikmah of whatever happened before.

They were there when I once fall.. Thanks

People may say anything as they want coz they never actually know how am I feeling. If I was about to tell how I feel being non-malaysian n living in this country.. to many to be told. But I'm thankful that not all treated me badly. Some of them even treat me as their own child. For them whoever I am still I'm just like them.. the same human being who has feeling. In fact, to be honest.. this is the most sensitive part in my life. So please bare with me..

So fren, if u dun feel like wannabe fren with this non-malaysian girl anymore.. just go away. I would appreciate that rather than hurt my feeling with your-like-you-know-how-I-feel thingy. I guess I've get enough being humiliated.

Thanks.